would you terminate pregnancy for the fourth time?

Question

i have 2 terminations made two years ago, since then i have a new partner and terminated one pregnancy four months ago, i wanted that baby but he lied to me in very serious matter (gambling etc.), we split and then i made decision of taking the termination.
after i had very strong concious and i get back to him when he promised to marry meand love to the end.
i lost my mind and once slept with him two months ago,just now i learnt that impregnant again!
i started a carrrier i have a good job but am in probationary period and cannot have this baby now.
besides he is convicted for his baby from the first marriage in the country he comes from ( he did not pay maintanace for months and is in serious debts).
what would you do in my position? would you get rid of him and the pregnancy?? and wouldnt worry in front of doctors for such a shame?

Answer 1

I would, it's not right to bring an unwanted baby into this world



Just get on some RELIABLE birth control



Looking at the way you wrote I'm guessing your NOT in the USA so a lot of what these people say about adoption doesn't apply to other countries

Answer 2

I personnel wouldn’t have an abortion at all unless it was a case that I had a very high chance of dying. I will admit I find it a little concerning that someone would have so many abortions in such a close time frame. Its basically using it as a form of birth control which is certainly isn’t. This guy needs to be dumped to the curb from what you say he isn’t even taking care of the child he already has. As far as you aborting or keeping the baby you will need to make that decision.



Clearly you are fertile that you have gotten pregnant 4 times in less than 3 years so please make sure you use better protection.



As far as when the fetus is considered a human being that frankly various from person to person. It can even vary on a legal level like in Missouri and 17 other states a festus is considered living at conception. Look at the fact that women can not legally get an abortion after a certain week in their pregnancy. If a fetus was not consider human until it was born then a woman could get an abortion at any point in her pregnancy no matter how far along she was.



http://crime.about.com/od/issues/a/fetalhomicide.htm



I am also not Catholic

Answer 3

First of all Im NOT catholic to answer that question. I am pro-choice. I think you should do what you feel is good and ok. MOSTLY once a gamber always a gambler its the same thing as if he were an alcoholic except hes going to burn through your money and (potentionally your babies). You do marry him, guess what DIVORCe and He gets half of your money or all of it dependnig if you support him during the marriage and before it. Get rid of this guy, and Do what you think is in the best interest for your child!

Personally I Cant answer what I would do because im not in your situation and Im not here to judge anyone. Best of luck, But honestly You can do better then this guy, and I think you should realize you broke up for a good reason the first time!



and I have to agree with some people, im sorry but really go to a planned parenting or something and get on a form of birth control that you will take so you dont have this problem anymore, It really isnt safe to have that many terminations! Can cause scarring and cause problems down the road when you are ready for a baby, I think if you wanted this baby, you wouldnt have to ask this on YA . Just a thought

Answer 4

I had a termination when i was 15, so im no one to judge HOWEVER, once is an accident but 4 times!!!!!



What contraception are you using???

It seems to me like you situation is never going to be perfect, and terminating a pregnancy because your boyfriend had a gambling problem!?!?



Either you have the baby and for once stop being so selfish or you have another abortion and then get some immediate birth control, maybe sterilisation would be a good idea, after all it doesn't sound like your very maternal.



A baby IS a human being before it's born, it has 2 legs, 2 eyes, a nose and can hear outside the womb from early on!!

I think you need to type 'aborted baby' into youtube and then see if you want an abortion.

Answer 5

I'm completely pro choice, but your problem is you're using abortions as a form of birth control which is completely wrong. How about you try using birth control or just shutting your legs? This is nothing to do with religion, but common sense and knowing the difference between right and wrong, which clearly you are sorely lacking.. I would rather you did give up those poor unborn children for adoption, because at least they'd have the chance of life with a family desperate for a child, rather than being lumbered with a slapper for a mother that opens her legs, carelessly gets pregnant, and takes the easy choice to abort it. I truly hope you never become a mother, because i'm not convinced you're fit to be one if you're so irresponsible you don't learn from the first mistake. It seems you just prefer to repeat the same mistakes over and over.. What a shame your mother didn't abort you instead, and save 4 innocent lives from the trauma of being concieved by such an uneducated idiot..

Answer 6

There is such a thing as birth control, and I am pro-choice, but seriously how were you allowed 3 abortions, there are laws you know. Clearly you just can't take responsibility for your actions and choose the easy way out!



Did you know that the babies heart begins to beat at 4 weeks old, legs and arms begin to form at 5 weeks, bones begin to form at 6 weeks, all the organs are formed at week 12, at week 14 the foetus has the appearance of a baby, at 20 weeks your baby has eyebrows and eyelashes, at 23 weeks the baby can survive outside of the mothers body, at 24 weeks is the legal limit for having an abortion, and at 40 weeks the baby is ready to be born naturally. Personally i think it is a baby when the heart begins to beat.



What reason do you have for having an abortion?

Answer 7

Do what you want, its your choice. Personally, I couldn't. I have just lost my baby girl at 19 weeks pregnant, she was perfectly formed, a darling, but she wasn't mature enough to survive outside the womb. So it's tricky really to say they aren't a baby before birth. They look like one. I can tell you that much.



I am dying to get pregnant again I am going crazy I just don't know how anyone could not want to be pregnant right now.



However I had an abortion at 16 years old - I really regretted that decision but what's done is done. 3 times is crazy though.



Its up to you I'm not being anti-abortion I know that there are reasons a woan can't go through pregnancy. Why not just use protection and you won't have to keep doing this.



Can I be as fertile as you please?



Good luck.

Answer 8

I am not catholic but i am 24 weeks pregnant and can tell you that my baby is a human and she responds to things like sound, light and touch very well. I think that if you are not prepared to do the time don't do the crime. There are a lot of people out there who try and try to have a baby, it took me and my husband 3 years, and finding a couple to adopt the baby would not be hard.

How long is your probationary period? you sound like you are only 2 months pregnant so i don't think i see the work complication.

I would have ditched the dad along time ago and it is not the childs fault you are irresponsible.

Answer 9

the baby isn't human? Well, get an ultrasound and see for yourself- I had a 3D ultrasound at just 18 weeks and it looked exactly like a human to me. I am sure well before that it had all the human features as well.



Really, I think you must be completely fooling yourself if you think the pregnancy is not a human.



Please reconsider and have this baby. It might be the best thing that could ever happen to you.



And regardless- please, get on reliable birth control as soon as possible. If not for the next baby you abort then yourself. Having so many abortions so can't be good for your health.

Answer 10

Um I have to say im with everyone who responded to this question....what ever happened to using condoms I know plenty of FREE clinics that give you condoms for FREE im sure the same place you terminated the first 3 of your kids does!!! and im sorry how can you say its not a human being til its born?? it has a heart beat you have a heart beat but since your not in a womb your a human being give me a break...if all your good for is laying on your back then maybe you should be on some sort of birth control...if your woman enough to lay there then you should be woman enough to take care of your responsibility im sorry how can you walk into abortion clinic without feeling like a stupid a**?? have the baby and give it up for adoption theres plenty of people dying to have babies who deserve them!! and FYI im a christian!!!

Answer 11

Well you shouldn't have got pregnant in the first place! You are so irresponsible, it's not the baby's fault that you and your partner broke up! If you had sex two months ago then that little baby inside you will be starting to grow into a proper person by now and you're just going to kill it because you can't be bothered to have it! You should have learned your lesson the last three times, why didn't you? Give the baby up for adoption if you don't want it. There are plenty of people in this world who can't have babies and would do anything to be in your position. Do the right thing........

Answer 12

Personally (and remember this is just what I would do in your position - and other than the previous terminations, I have been there), I'd get rid of him and keep the baby. He's obviously not interested in having kids, if he was he'd have been paying for his other one(s). There is NEVER a right time to have a baby, and no matter how much money you have it's never enough. If you feel so badly about the last termination, would you be able to deal with another.



Good Luck in your decision xxx

Answer 13

No - i flaming well wouldn't!

(well i wouldn't of had a termination with any)



Are you absolutely STUPID? If you didn't want children, you should of used contraception, there's plenty of it now days.

People like you actually make me sick.

If the mistake was big enough the first time (i cringe to say this) but fair enough.

To make it 3 times after, absolutely stupid, pathetic women.



I really apologise if im offending anyone on here, but with things like this, i really can't keep it shut.



The amount of women and men that are absolutely dying for baby's, literally would do ANYTHING, and you just kill them one by one as easy as the sun comes up.

Answer 14

1. Im NOT catholic

2. a baby is a baby from conception it has a heartbeat and moves around on it's own how is that not a human being.

3. someone would love to have your baby if you don't.



I think you are extremly stupid for getting yourself in this situation if you don't want a baby use contraception and don't say it isn't always 100 % BS because 4 times is extremly stupid.

Is aborting babies your form of contraception?? people like you make me sick. how about dumping the loser boyfriend and raising your baby like a proper parent?

Answer 15

Well it always seems to be something, doesnt it?

These babies never come at a convenient time for you.



Take some responsibility for your actions. You should have learnt after falling pregnant the first time. Why are you punishing your babies because its not a good time for you?



And yes, I would be ashamed if I were you.



ETA: OMG do you actually believe that a baby is not a 'human being' until after its been born?? You are a sick, twisted, poor excuse for a person. That baby is ALIVE inside of you. It feels your happiness (if indeed you do have any happiness), your sadness. It likes certain foods and hates the tastes of others. It reacts to touch and sight, light and dark. Do you honeslty think that the moment the baby is born *BAM* its spirit comes out of nowhere and becomes alive in the baby? Wrong. That spirit is there right from the very start. I DARE you to argue your point to a mother who has lost her baby to stillbirth or miscarriage. Try telling them that their precious baby who they felt kick and hiccupp inside of them was not a 'human being'.

You make me utterly, utterly sick.

Answer 16

Well, for starters, pregnancy isn't some dumb toy that you can throw away because you all of a sudden don't want it anymore. For crying out loud, there is a baby in there, with a beating heart, and you just kill for the sake of your own selfishness and possibly even out of spite. Grow up and stop having sex or else, go get fixed so that you can stop having children.



AN UNBORN BABY HAS LIFE WHEN IT IS CONCEIVED!!!



By the way, it is a human being, it was conceived by a human being, therefore it is a human being!



Human being egg + human being sperm = human being conception. What do you think you are, a monkey or something? Of course its a human being!!

Answer 17

I'm not catholic and i think you are disgusting, you make my stomach turn,

Babies might not be babies until birth but it is still a life. Maybe one, thats still wrong but four your a disgrace. I think your mother should have terminated you at conception because you definatley dont deserve the air on the earth just so you can keep on killing your own children. I think you should have the baby because at least one of your children get a chance to live and lets face it most women who have more then one termination can no longer have children, so get rid of this child and your chances are very slim. You dont deserve to be a mother and i pity your children

Answer 18

I think u need to have the baby and give it up for adoption as there are many people in this world who cant have children and people like you take it for granted that terminations are a form of contriception!!!

GOOD LUCK

Answer 19

Christ, how old are you? When are you going to stop using murder as a form of contraception?



You said " i wanted that baby but he lied to me in very serious matter - gambling etc" GAMBLING???



Surely a life is more serios than some jerk off man who needs getting rid of? I am not by any means religious but the way you keep on getting pregnant is just plain wrong - some people out there suffer misscarriages, still births & fertility problems and all you can do is murder 4 innocent children?



I hope you rot in hell for your sins. I am 6 weeks pregnant right now & I would never think for one second of harming my baby, who may not be fully developed yet but one day he/she will be old enough to get taught that people like you are morally wrong & need stringing up.

Answer 20

Have you never heard of birth control?



Here's what I think you should do, I think you should leave your boyfriend, I think you shouldn't have an abortion and I think you should have the baby and than give it up for adoption to someone who actually appreciates how precious a child's life is.



I think you should stop having sex.



Edit: I am not catholic. You don't have to be catholic to appreciate the stupidity of someone who is considering having a fourth abortion. And yes, if it meant giving the child a better home and life than the one you're obviously not interested in providing it, than I would gladly adopt your child - as would thousands of couples who want nothing more than a baby. Why don't you get in touch with an adoption agency? In some cases the family that is adopting the child will recompensate the cost of living for you if you lose your job due to pregnancy, seeing as that seems to be the deciding factor for you.

Answer 21

Ive only been in your postition once, and once was bad enough for me. Its your body so it really is up to you what you do. Personally i would keep it and love and take care of it. Its a part of you, with or without your fella you'll be fine. Just go with what feels right in your heart. Good Luck xxx

Answer 22

OK - I have no problem with abortion, I'm very pro-choice.



But it's idiots like you that give a really bad name to the whole pro-choice argument. You've gotten pregnant 4 times - it's time you accepted some responsibility for yourself. He is an a**hole and you are an idiot. Kick him to the curb, keep your baby and act like an adult.



And get your tubes tied - you're clearly rather irresponsible...



EDIT:

I'm not a catholic - I'm an athiest.

If a fetus is a human being is debateable - if you are a human being is also.

No I don't want to adopt - I don't want children, that's why I get an injection every three months. Getting a shot that cost $15 four times a year is a much better choice.





Sorry if we all seem harsh, but you surely didn't think people would approve? If you don't want to be judged turn to family and friends, not an anonymous on-line community. Here, we'll tell you what we think.

Answer 23

I wouldn't have one abortion, never mind four. If you're going to have sex, you need to use contraception, it's really not that hard to do.



My pregnancy didn't exactly come at the right time in my life, but you know what? I faced up to my responsibilities and had my baby, and it's the best decision I ever made. I'm now a single mummy, I provide everything for my son, and I love it!



There's surely only so many abortions you can have before your body and mind begin to really suffer.

Answer 24

if you can make the decision to terminate your children so frequently then i think its best you dont have kids. i mean thats just the 1st step of not wanting them, so why bother bringing an innocent child into the world just because you felt like having a baby to one of the men you had sex with, and destroy the childs life, remember you cant terminate a real child.

Answer 25

I'm not sure multiple abortions are ideal. You might cause a lot of damage to your uterus making it harder for you to have children in the future (when you want a family).



However, if you choose to have an abortion, I would suggest whilst you're at it go on a form of birth control.

Answer 26

Looking through the answers you have received so far, no one has said they are catholic! just because the are against abortion, it doesn't mean they believe that because of their religion, its their choice to believe abortion is wrong, just like it is your choice to think it is ok.



Anyway, back to your question, to me it sounds like you don't want to abort this baby especially after your feelings after the last one. There is financial help available if you wish to face up to your responsibility.



I personally would choose to face up to my responsibilities and use contraception in the future. I don't believe in abortion as a form of contraception.



Anyhow, looking at your profile, my guess is, since you registered on Yahoo answers this morning, and this is your first question, it sounds like you have choosen a contravertial topic to get a debate or arguement going, simply to wind people up. I don't think you really are thinking about abortion.

Answer 27

i think everyone should be given ONE TIME- if emergency (*edit*) in life to abort. Never anymore.. Y are you using abortion as a form of birth-control



Y do women make it seem so damn hard to get on B/C? Keep your legs closed or masturbate if you dont want to take your responsibilities.



Grow up! That is a selfish reason to give up a baby.. Because he lied about gambling

?

Answer 28

my goodness, most people would learn from the 1st mistake. I dont mean to sound rude, but dont you have any conscious at all. Does it not hurt you. I have to wonder what your parents taught you.

if you do terminate the pregnancy, ask the doctors to fit a coil whilst you are there.



you talk about terminations as if they were returning a pair of unwanted shoes.

Answer 29

Oh my gosh.. don't use abortion as birth control..



give the baby up for adoption..



people with pay you, pay your bills, and everything.. you just gotta have it..



dont terminate your pregnancy because its convenient for you

Answer 30

I'm disgusted. Vile, sorry excuse for a woman.

Answer 31

wtf is wrong with you?? STOP HAVING SEX! if you think "gambling, etc" is a serious matter but you dont think a baby is a serious enough matter to spare its life than you have issues. you are obviously vERY gutsy for posting this in a parenting forum. being parents, we are mainly pro-life.



close your legs. stop making babies. GOSH!



makes me SICKKKKK

Answer 32

omg i'm all for pro-choice but anyone who is thinking of a 4th termination is completely irresponsible. one, yes, four NO! why aren't you more careful? why don't you use contraception or go for the MORNING AFTER PILL?



you make me sick



edit - i am not a catholic, i am atheist. i also had a termination ONCE. you're taking the p*ss though.

Answer 33

You need to really think about your actions. Quit blaming what you are doing on someone else and have a heart already!

Answer 34

4 terminations is an absolute disgrace, grow up and use some birth control!! Have the baby and give it away, omg!!

Answer 35

This is disgusting, and I pray to the Lord above that it is a sad attempt to get everyone to fight with each other.



Get your vagina sewn shut, your obviously too ignorant to consider birth control.

Answer 36

some humans fall down the natural selection pecking order and shouldn't be allowed to conceive.



your one of them.

Answer 37

oh dear some people on this thing havno control over their own voices do they! grow up the lots of you and give the girl a break!



i am pro choice also. i think you have obviously gone thorugh it alot and not sure what to do next. The one thing i would worry about is causing damage to yourself....physically and emotionally! but believe me when i say that as soon as you see that baby on the monitor any negative thoughs you may of have dissapear! i was very upset when i found out i was pregnant but after my 12 weeks scan all that dissapeared im now due in 2 weeks! you will get support of mony off the government and if you start saving here and now you can put some money away also! as for your job they cant fire you because our pregnant and anyway u dont have to tell him them until you want to so if nessesary keep it hiddin!



the choice is yours hun and there are lots out there for you! shame other people cant give more possitive advice



god luck xxx

Answer 38

I wouldn't have terminated the first pregnancy... But that's just me. I would have taken responsibility for having unprotected sex.

Answer 39

Abortion is not a form of birth control. If you don't want to get pregnant, then take a pill or something, quit killing babies! >:/ That's harsh, but seriously.

Answer 40

have you heard of birth control. if you are using some then it clearly is not working!!!

Answer 41

just give the baby to somebody who can't have kids damn, enough is enough!

Answer 42

just pathetic

Answer 43

How about before you have sex with men you grow up and try to be responsible.

Answer 44

...........get your tubes tied, or your legs tied shut.

and yes, that is a shame.

Answer 45

CONTRACEPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!