How many people heard nothing but horror stories about childbirth when they were expecting their first?

Question

Seriously some days I get so freaked!!!!

Most of the time I'm OK, I know that she has to come out and that it's going to be uncomfortable and painful and I keep focused on things like what will she look like and will she have loads of hair etc but then I have the other days when all I seem to hear are horror stories!!!

I won't go into the stuff I hear but 3 people I know have had babies since I found out I'm pregnant and they all have their nightmare stories, not one had something nice to say about it, two had natural and one had a cesarean!

I'm 30+ weeks and went for a check up the other day and was told she might be breech, I always thought i would prefer a cesarean but not after the stories I have been told, I will take natural any day, it's the lesser of two evils! I am crossing every finger and toe that she turns, I still have time so I'm not going to start panicking just yet.

Who's experienced that same thing and just freaked

Answer 1

The old first child syndrome!!!



I remember when I was pregnant with my first child. For some reason all other mothers shared there pregnant stories with me, the good the bad and the ugly.



Even old great unties shared there stories, It down right freaked me out. They would tell you every detail. It's like you have joined this special mothers club were you get told everything. The funny thing is, it stops at the first child. They all leave you alone after that.



The next thing you have to look forward to (not) is when you have your baby, everyone is going to give you there advice and your head will start to spin. You will be at the doctors every other day with your baby because you don't know how sick your baby is. I remember taking my baby to the hospital because he had a temperature waiting 2 hours only to be told just him some paracetamol. Your going to read everything you can about the health of your baby, whether it be advice from a doctor or alternative medicine.



Don't worry it's all normal for a first time mum to go through this. It doesn't mean that its going to happen to you. Just think when your had your second child you can share your stories with first time mothers and see the look on there faces.



Take care and try to enjoy being pregnant and don't pay attention to the bad stories.

Answer 2

You know...that's a concern of every pregnant woman I think...but honestly...I think its really a matter of your state of mind.



It sounds like you're pretty sane about it...I had the same attitude.."I know he's gotta come out sometime" ..there's not much you can do about it.



I gotta say...I WANTED a natural child birth...and I ended up having an emergency C Section, baby was ten pounds and facing the wrong direction.



If I had known that the C Section would be so easy and painless and simple...I would not have fought for 14 hours of back labor pushing and pushing with no drugs!!



After all that work, 14 hours of pain and stress and pushing, they gave me a spinal block, a minute later I was cracking jokes on the surgical table and 45 little minutes later, Baby was here and they were sewing me up.



It was so easy that I didn't even take any pain meds afterwards! AND I left the hospital a day early!



It's not that big a deal...at all. I took a Bradley Method birthing class and I was all hell bent on natural birth and the class just freaked me all out about cesareans...it turns out...it was WAY less traumatic than the 14 hours of crap I went through in an attempt to have natural child birth!!



Everything will be fine mama...no worries.



Congratulations and good luck!



An honestly...you will have amnesia about a half a second after you see your baby's face...You will be so high just seeing that little peanut, that everything you just went through, no matter what it was, will seem as pleasant as a tea party...it is all sooooo totally worth it! I'd do it again in a second...they truly are a gift.

Answer 3

I remember that exact same thing and it used to make me so mad!! This is the time you need encouraging, not to be told horror stories!

It seems to be human nature to tell a pregnant woman how bad things can be and I don't understand why.

You have a good focus and point of view. Hang in there and remember that most women have "normal" childbirths. The horror stories are more rare.

I've had 3 children and I would do it again in a second. They are so wonderful and changed my life for the better. Yes, labor was hard work and painful, but anything worthwhile is hard work.

My youngest was breech too and she did turn at the last minute.



Hang in there, Mom. You have a beautiful baby on the way-- keep you mind on that and feel free to tell people that you just don't want to hear any more stories.

Answer 4

The first is always a shock to the system and EVERYBODY has a "horror" story. If you can avoid it, stay away from a C-section on your first. Although there are many stories of natural births following cesarian, it is not always possible.



Exactly how far along are you? There are ways to turn the baby, I did it. I forget exactly how far along I was, but it certainly was late and my daughter was born within 3-4 week, but I propped myself up, with my head on the ground and bottom under stacks of pillows and for about 10 min a day, firmly massaged my belly and worked the baby into a head-down position. She was 2-weeks overdue, but I don't think that had much to do with it. Although I had to be induced (UGH) and she was in a bit of distress, everything turned out beautifully. She's 12 now and smart, talented and beautiful!!



Honestly, and most every mom will tell you, no matter how your baby comes into this world, the pain is quickly forgotten and you are overwhelmed with joy among other dozens of emotions.



Best of luck to you -

Answer 5

My mum was in labour for me for 36 hours and had a hideous birth with me (a story I used to hear every time it rained or there was nothing on the telly!) so I was extremely worried about my first birth especially as she was induced as I was 11 days over due date!! As it turned out she was born within 4 hours and it was wonderful - I won't kid you it does not hurt but I must stress that staying focused on ante natal breathing and relaxation techniques helped me no end - the more relaxed you are the less pain honest I have been there 4 times! But saying that all births are different my midwife with my first 2 was determined that I was to write a birth plan but the only things I wanted to say was that my partner should not leave my side WHATEVER HAPPENED and that if I wanted drugs GIVE THEM TO ME!!



Good luck, you won't need it it's natural, it's smelly, it horrible but half an hour after the birth you won't care cos it will feel like all your Christmases have come at once when you look down at that little person that YOU made!

Answer 6

Don't worry about it. Horror stories don't end with the most beautiful little thing you'll ever see (until next baby) My labour was less than a year ago, was pretty horrendous in terms of complications and now I'm expecting again in August and not scared at all. It is painful, it's very hard work (hence labour) but you're in safe hands, it happens every minute of every day and is the most natural thing in the world. Nobody would have brothers or sisters if it was that bad. It took over 33 hours from realising I was in labour to delivering my daughter and worth every second. I fully, 100% recommend the epidural if it turns out to be taking too long cos your body needs a break from the pain but please don't worry too much, just stay calm and rest assured your fears are normal. Don't let them ruin your pregnancy!



Good luck!



Sarah xx

Answer 7

Oh yes, I remember them well.........horror, pain, fear, etc. I got so tired of hearing people's stories I had to just walk away after a while. It was really not what I wanted (or needed) to hear. I guess some people enjoy sharing thier stories of how much pain they went through and how they survived! Good for them. I knew all I wanted was to experience the least amount of pain possible because I really was a chicken!



Well, though I wanted a natural birth, I had a C-section. Honestly, I know you don't opt for that, but it truly was the best for me and for my son. It was very quick and much less painful. I actually recovered very quickly as well which was surprising since I had heard such bad stories about them. I am probably much older than you too, and for my recovery to go so well, was really a blessing indeed.



So, maybe just ask people not to share thier horror stories with you. Or, just walk away kindly. You have enough on your mind right now.



Congrats and good luck to you!!



Ultimately

Answer 8

I heard nothing but horror stories when I was pregnant with my first last year. My mum had a bad experience with me (her first - long, painful and mismanaged labour) and was constantly going on about how worried she was for me - it scared the crap out of me.



When my son was born on 30 November it was absolutely FINE! I had a natural birth in a birth centre with no pain medication (didn't like the gas and air)! Contractions started at 4pm and he was born at half past midnight.



Yes it was very painful but apart from that, no problems at all!!! No complications, no bad experiences. And my son is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.



Some people just get off on trying to scare others. Ignore the stories. Talk to your midwife or doctor. Tell them what's worrying you. Ask for help and advice on the things you are really worried about. Trust the professionals and ignore the stuff Auntie Mavis is telling you.



As for your baby being breech - so was mine at 30 weeks and he turned round at 34 weeks! i felt him do it!! Most babies don't settle into the head down position until a few weeks before they are born so don't worry about that!!!!

Answer 9

If she is breech the doctors can turn her. It's not an automatic reason for a c-section.



When I was pregnant everyone seemed to have some horrible story to tell me about child birth. That didn't phase me a bit - it actually just fueled my fire to do it natural without drugs!



Unfortunately, I ended up having to have a c-section because baby was too big and my pelvic bones were too close together. But - I must honestly tell you that it is not as bad as people make it out to be. People just like the drama of it all. Don't worry - it as actually a beautiful experience and I can't wait to do it agian!

Answer 10

#1-stay away from those people. The last thing you need to do is worry. Right now you need to relax and think happy thoughts.

#2- I have 2 kids and have been though the same thing.

#3- Read up about childbirth options in "The Baby Book" by Dr. Martha and William Sears. They are great. They have 9 kids, some adopted, some their own and the mom is a nurse and the husband a doctor.

#4- Ask your doctor about childbirth options and which ones he would reccomend for your condition.

Answer 11

When I was having my first child 40 odd years ago I knew nothing of child birth. One of my uncles had served all over the world as a soldier. He said to me " Don't worry you will be fine, I have watched women abroad give birth in the fields whilst working, and in a couple of hours they would be working again with the child on their back. You will have the comfort of home and family and the back up of the N H S, "

When he put it like that my worries seemed small.

I had my children safely and naturally. Ignore the horror stories.

If every birth is so bad why do so many women have several children??.

Believe me when that baby is in your arms you won't even remember the pain.

All the very best, think possitive !!!

Answer 12

I swear, women seem to love to tell pregnant women all the bad things they can about labor.



I heard them all to when I was pregnant with my first. And I did get freaked out. But, my Grandmother once told me that I could just stop someone and say politely, "I just would rather be surprised, okay?" and that is exactly what I did.



I will tell you though that the experience made me VERY mindful of never scaring another pregnant woman with tales of my own labor. I remember how stressed hearing the stories made me so I never did the same to someone else. And, when a pregnant lady asks me I always say, "Everyone is different, you'll be fine."



I know that it's good to be prepared, but I didn't need to know every scary and horrifying thing that happened while they were in labor!!



I know how you feel. Hang in there, you're so close to the finish line and before you know it you'll be taking care of a beautiful new baby!

Answer 13

I went through my sister's childbirth with her (she also was told several times that her baby wouldn't turn, but he did - contrary little thing!). What an amazing thing. I was her birth partner (she was separated) and when i got to the hospital she was sat on a big, bouncy ball, huffing and puffing! She carried on like that for a while, then said it was too painful. She was asked if she wanted a bath, so she said yes. They took her to a birthing pool. With the help of a bit of gas and air (she stopped near the actual birth - she wanted control) 5 hours later she had her beautiful little boy in the pool. (She hadn't planned on using a pool! It just happened). He was born into the pool and once out of the water was laid on her chest, he didn't cry and just opened his eyes and looked around! Amazing. My sister says that she would do it again. Yes it was painful, but well worth it! You are so lucky. I have been trying for children for so long - don't think it will happen. Enjoy it. Even the pain! Some people long for that sort of pain. Good luck!

Answer 14

I heard both good and bad stories. I will tell you this. After nine hours and only 2 stinking centimeter, I was thrilled when the doctor said c-section. The recovery wasn't bad. My second was a planned c and I have to say it was actually enjoyable. The doctor, the anesthesiologist, and the nurse were all women and all crazy. We laughed my daughter into the world. Recovery isn't fun but it's no horror story. I had a c-section on Wednesday and was shopping in Target on Saturday. As long as the baby is healthy, it really doesn't matter how she gets here.

Answer 15

Please try not to freak out I'm a mother of four kids my first pregnancy was very hard i started to bleed at 24 weeks and found out i had preclamcia 3 times in hospital and i was started at 40 weeks the labour was pretty straight forward it was long and pain full lets be truth full but there is so many things you can take for the pain i had an epidural for my first it was fantastic but after a week after having my baby you get very sore back its worse than the labour itself .What i would tell you to take is gas and air you feel as if you're drunk you're midwife who's with you will tell what else is available at the hospital don't panic its natural it has to come out sometime .With the rest of my pregnancy's all i took was gas and air the rest of them just shot out after the first its just gets easier any after you're birth you will forget about all the pain and look at you're baby and think god this was all worth it , you see its not all bad the next time you have an appointment ask you're midwife whats available for the pain and if you're still breach the will probably turn you're baby for you that's what they did with my third pregnancy wasn't pain full at all rather go through labour than an c section my sister had one but her baby was very premature but he only weighed 2lb and he is 6 now and a cutey i would love to have more myself i just love kids all the best

Answer 16

Unfortunately, some horror stories are true. I had some related to me from my grandmother and her "back in the days before modern medicine."

And that is the way you have to look at it. Our doctors today a held accountable for their treatment of their patients and the medical boards every where do their best to ensure quality medical care.

So relax, your baby may turn and you won't need the cesarean. But if you do, you are in good hands compared to what they had in our great great grandmother’s day.

Any earlier, you can read about in the head line news, so the next time you hear a story heading in that direction, spare yourself the worry and walk away.

Answer 17

It's normal for other mothers to want to share their experiences with you. Birth is hard and they in a sense have a right to talk about what they went through. The point is, they went through the labor all this awful stuff and made it through.



If it's bothering you, simply tell these people that you don't want to hear their stories. Maybe you'll feel rude for interrupting them, but you do what you need to do to keep yourself from freaking out. This is an important time to remain calm, it will make things easier on you.

Answer 18

People love to scare people when they are pregnant they get a thrill out of seeing you panick,its very rare for things to go dramatically wrong when i had my first i was told all sorts and when the time came i was only in labour 4 hours and the pain wasn't half as bad as id imagined it to be,if it was that bad people wouldnt have any more would they?

as for been breech maybe c section would be more comfortable and less chances of stressing your baby out whatever you have just enjoy the moment and accept all pain relief its brill

Answer 19

Sweetie, I've been there too.

I was terrified of everything the most of all - C-section. Remember just like every baby is uniq the same way everyone's experience is uniq.

I had myself at the end natural but my girl was too big and I had episiotomy (which was my nightmare too). Honestly, I forgot about everything since I got out of hospital. Only stitches from episiotomy remind me about that nightmare I've been through for a while but since they've gone I never think about it again. I remember only my partner was there and all his support and even jokes (it's hard to believe it but we did. It really helps if someone makes you smile at that painful moment )and when they put my little beautiful girl on my chest. At the end of the day you'll remember only nice moments because being mum is wonderful. This is the best ever blessing in your life God's given to you. Trust me you're one of the luckiest&happiest people in the world because you're mum. Just pray about it, ask God for every little thing you need.



Best wishes&good luck!

Answer 20

First of all, you are going to be fine. Get an epidural. Yeah, its really hard, but if it was unbearable, no one would have more than one kid. I wont share my own personal horror story. To make you feel better, a friend of mine had her first baby after only 2 hours of labor, and her second child after only an hour. It was insane. Honestly, everyone likes to share their war-stories, but its just because we are so proud of ourselves for making it through it. When all that pain comes on, its for a reason, and you know it. You have a lot of people helping you through it, and an epidural will make it so you dont feel anything at all. Dont worry, you dont even feel the needle go in. Some women say they want to "experience" their birth, and not use pain-killers, but that gives me a great laugh. If you are out of your mind with pain, you really arent having much of an experience. My epidural wore off because I was in labor for so long, but while it lasted, it gave me a chance to rest, and enjoy the company of my loved ones. Without that rest, I may not have made it. But dont worry, I know just as many moms who have had easy births, as have had hard births. I hope you are one of the easy ones. Two words for you: perineal massage. It could literally save your butt! Ask your doc if you dont know what it is.

Answer 21

honestly dont believe everything u hear ive had 6 babies im 44 and would go through it all again in an angels whisper...everybody's different there r girls who waste thier breath screaming theres others who tell lies just to annoy( i had that) and the rest make up a load of ****..... so its nearly ure time enjoy the last bit and i hope this time next year when the baby's nearly 1 your thinking of another 1 as an only child is a lonley child............have a great life and please dont freak its natural and yes theres pain anybody who says theres not is such a liar... but when you look into the baby's eyes its all worth itxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 22

Hey, I'm 30 weeks and 2 days. I understand, there are a lot of horror stories, but you have to have FAITH. Seriously, that'll get you through. My baby is head down and is already 4 lbs, so he's going to be a BIG one and this is my first.



Just have pain medicine and everything will be ok.



Plus, my sister, Aunt, and mom all had cesearans and they didn't like them at all.... Except my sister, her second child was a purposeful c-section, it was a nice experience for her.



It's all about your state of mind. My boy and your girl are going to have to come out one way or another. lol

Answer 23

I know EXACTLY what you mean, when I was having my first baby, a girl I knew said that she was in labour for a week, then as she was having the baby she nearly bled to death and had about 400 stitches. I S..T myself, dreading my baby's birth (I was naive and didn't know anyone who had babies then) Turns out, I spoke to her mother and she told me that what this girl said was complete RUBBISH! She'd done it just for attention, and a LOT of people do that to pregnant women, it's a horrible thing to do.

My baby was born after a straightforward labour and birth and I VOWED never to listen to anyone again.

I went on to have another three babies and I'd have another one tomorrow if I could..!

Don't listen to anyone, I've NEVER told anyone horror stories about birth, even though I know a few who've had problems, but ended up fine.

You still have plenty of time before your baby turns, with my third and fourth, they were still all over the place quite late on, but they settled for the birth anyway.

I know loads of people who have had vaginal and caesarean births and got through just fine, and baby has too.

Be flexible as far as birth plans go and just take it as it comes, as long as you have that gorgeous baby to hold after whatever birth you have, nothing matters. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM ANYMORE. Don't show those people they've got you worried, that's what they want.

The pain of labour and birth is inevitable, yet so is having that beautiful baby, and YES it's worth it! If I can do it, anybody can! (I'm the world's biggest wimp).



Love to you all!

S. XXXXX

Answer 24

I am 38 weeks pregnant, and feel the same way as you. Nobody tells you the lovely stories of the easy births they had. Nobody tells you ways to cope with the pain, or how easy pushing was, or how quick it went. I am sooooo sick of hearing the horror stories from everyone. Let us make our own opinion on how OUR birthing experience is. And we can share AFTER the labour and delivery is over.

Answer 25

I didn't really hear any horror stories untill after the birth of my amazing little girl. then I felt guilty because I'd had such an easy time.



I could give birth every day but I'm not keen on the whole 9 month pregnancy thing.

Answer 26

Baby still has time to turn...



And all those horror stories are just that; (stories) If things were so bad would people be having 2 ,3,4 or more children. Once you hold your baby all is forgotten... Just remember after the baby is born to tell your story as it happened and don't embellish with horror :o)

Best Wishes and enjoy that baby girl....

Answer 27

giving birth to a baby is the best gift of being a woman be thankful about that to the lord. Stay happy and avoid the three ladies read good books and when u see the tiny baby u will feel that all the pain was nothing . its devine . so keep counting the days till you have the baby .

take care and all the best

Answer 28

Just wait, before long you'll be sharing your own story. It will sound like a horror story to some expecting mom even if you think it sounds wonderful. Listen to the stories. Who knows, you may learn something from someone else's misfortunes. Its better to be informed and know the possibilities than to be shocked when something similar happens to you. They're only trying to help you prepare. Best of luck to you.

Answer 29

I heard so many I was freaking and I needed my mum who is always the voice of reason for me to reassure me by pointing out how many people have more than one!



Don't stress, if it was that bad everyone would take drastic measures to ensure they didn't have to go through it again!



I bet even the ones with the horrific stories will tell you they would do it all again tomorrow for another!

Answer 30

Im not looking forward to my first either, Ive heard loads of horror stories and cant help but think these people enjoy frightening us.

UNTIL I spoke to a new friend of mine who had her first baby in her late twenties and said she had no problems. I said 'It must have been painful' she said it wasnt. He just popped out!!!!

It was nothing like what people told her.

Just keep thinking to yourself, its the most normal thing on earth to give birth and trillions of women have done it before us, so it cant be that bad.

Congratulations and just remember it will be worth it xxxx

Answer 31

I had awful stories, but now i will tell you mine



my beautiful little girl was born 7 years ago. she was 18 days over due and more than happy to stay inside, they gave me a c section and it was fantastic the whole birth was really chilled, i have since had 2 more by c section and was home the following day..

see not all bad



i wish you all the luck in the world

Answer 32

Do you know the same happened to me, and I was sooooo scared but when I had my beautiful baby boy it was not nearly as bad as I was told



I was glad everyone told me horror stories because I expected worse and was pleasantly surprised at how quickly it was all over with no complications



xxxx

Answer 33

every one has that i think i heard nothing but horror stories when i was expecting my first and second. but both mine where easy compared to what every one said they would be. but there is that saying expect the worst but its never as bad as it seems.

i panicked over both mine it was like being pregnant is good but oh my god i have now got to get them out but by the time you get round to giving birth its like just get them out i do not care .

i am sure she will turn before that and every thing will be fine enjoy it it is a wonderful experience and it wont be as bad as people say.

Answer 34

This happens all the time. I heard so many was I pregnant. Now here I am doing the same thing, and I have to catch myself. Just remember, if it was that bad, then people wouldn't have more than one.

Answer 35

i think weather you haer good or bad stories you are terrififed first time round.



i couldnt sleep i was so worried... i got mad when ppl told me everything would be ok



my fisrt time wasnt exeactly text book but it was the most amazing expirence of my life and i cant wait to do it again (due in 1 wk)



try and block out what you here because noi matter what other ppl have expirenced or how they coped you wil be fine.



just take it one contraction at a time and relax. it wil be well worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 36

PLEASE PLEASE

do not listen or read about any more horror stories as they will give you headache and cant do you any good. perhaps your story will be a wonderful one.

we all had bad moments but partly because it si such an emotional time and we are very hormonal so take everything with a pinch of salt.

i was told my baby was breach and she was not at all!!! make sure your partner is there to yell and demand efficiency!!

good luck

Answer 37

im also in the club and all i seem to hear is the bad! i think people dont talk as much about the good but tend to tell everyone about the bad, therefore we hear more bad than good!

dont worry and everythin will be fine, just imagine the look on your little ones face and its worth it :D

good luck xx

Answer 38

My wife, She slept through every one of her contractions, woke for the few seconds of pain then drifted back off, i was the one sittin for hours worried lol, cant fault you girls it is hard but you have nothing to worry about, dont concentrate on the few hours leading into the birth just get to your last 3 pushes and go for it, us men expect to be hurt lol, Nothing to worry about

Answer 39

I had 2 C-section births.. showed up to my appointment, relaxed on the operating room table...don't even know what a contraction feels like, it was a pleasant experience. the depression that came after is a different story.. good luck! your gonnna need it.

Answer 40

its normal to freak at times. when your in labour you will forget all the horror stories. just go with the flow and listen to your midwife. above all relax you are the only person who can have this baby. good luck.

Answer 41

People can come up with the stupidest things to say. Just ignore them. Every pregnancy is different. Just take your Doctor's advice. Congratulations!

Answer 42

when i found out i was pregnant everyone and their mother not only had something to say and they also told me what to do... i hated it.. i worked with all women with children... my son was brenched and i had to have a c-section... i had a co-worker tell me your not a real mother unless you push him out of your body.. well let me tell you labor was painless healing after sucked. atleast she could get up to help her baby i couldnt but the plus side... i could have sex due to nothing coming out of me... well i did make a comment back to her regarding the fact my thing would be all stretched out like hers... i think she was the last strall... listen at some point i had to tell everyone around me to leave me alone about everything and let me enjoy my ride.. good luck and enjoy yours too.

Answer 43

everyone tells you horror stories but giving birth to my first wasnt that bad, i have four children now

Answer 44

You still have time for the baby to turn Horror stories funny you better ask for an epidural, because you are gonna be in alot of pain, The pain is escrutiating you will never endure such pain in your life. You can't take pain medicatin because it stops the labor.

Answer 45

i believe that you only hear what you want to hear. You're probably focusing more on the bad things and less on the good.