Question:
im13 and pregnant? i need help
2008-08-07 00:35:59 UTC
i don't know how to tell my mom and my boyfriend that i'm pregnant and i want to keep the child, abortion is wrong but i am really scared and i don't know what i'm going to do about this child. my mom will freak out because she doesnt evenn know that im having sex because im 13
59 answers:
Curious Genius
2008-08-07 00:41:35 UTC
get an abortion. Having a child at 13 is wrong. If you have this child you will be taking away from this person by bringing it into a world where its parents are too young to be parents. It will only grow up to have problem after problem and then wish it was never born and hate you for being a horrible mother. At least give it too a family that can't have kids if you wont get an abortion.
beccanimf
2008-08-07 01:06:30 UTC
If you think you were mature enough to have not only sex but unprotected sex then you are plenty mature enough to just get the courage to tell your mum what you've done. You are still a kid yourself and are FAR too young to have a baby. I can pretty much guarantee that your boyfriend won't stick around past that baby's first birthday (take it from personal experience). Your life will now consist of changing nappies and getting up 5 or 6 times a night to feed a baby who cries no matter what you do. If you are lucky enough to lose the mass amount of weight you will put on, you will still probably never fit into skinny jeans again as your body changes shape permanently-also, with you being so young, you will likely have stretch marks all over your stomach, boobs, thighs and sometimes other parts of your body. Whether you breastfeed or not, your boobs will grow at an alarming rate then deflate to leave them fairly saggy. You won't get out as much anymore, unless you are going to the park, and your friends will soon get bored of a baby who cries, throws up and smells. If you are dressed up to go out, your baby will puke on you. Your education will never finish the way you intended. In 5 or so years time when all your other mates are going out and getting drunk and having legal sex, you will be looking for a good school for your child. In 10 years when they are getting married and having sex, you will be dealing with a pre teen child who wont let you keep a single boyfriend without a battle.



Just think about it... Is this the way you planned your life?
2008-08-07 00:41:59 UTC
You need to ask yourself, am i ready for the responsibilty? Rasing a kis is no walk in the park. Its alot of hard work. 13 is a bit young to be raising a child. I think you should really consider adoption. Your very strong for actually haveing a baby at your age. You need to talk to your mom. Mothers can be really understanding about this sort of thing...most of the time. Do not freak out and do not panic. You need to see a doctor and make sure everything is alright with the baby and get a check up and everything. Your mother needs to know so she can help you. And if she pushes you to get an abortion tell her you think its very wrong and you couldnt go through with it. Then if she still wants you to tell her "Mom how would you feel if you were pregnant and your mom wanted you to get an abortion...then you would have never had me." It will either leave her speechless or at least get her off your back.



Hope you'll be okay. I wish you the best of luck



Xx.Shaiya.xX
ewert
2016-09-08 10:23:35 UTC
February 1st? that is three days in the past.. you definetely may not uncover out now. You have to wait approximately every week or so after which move take an extra being pregnant experiment once more :) You particularly would not have had intercourse considering you are so younger and also you definetly are not able to maintain a child whilst you are nonetheless so younger your self, however I'm no longer right here to train you a lesson however optimistically you can be trained from this and in case you nonetheless wish to have intercourse atleast do it blanketed! P.s you did not appear to say that your dad and mom care approximately you having intercourse or perhaps pregnancy, so if you're, you will have to simply maintain it they usually might support you are taking care considering abortion is solely undeniable terrible, or deliver it up for adoption! lol take care! x
KIm
2008-08-07 00:43:33 UTC
all you can do is open your mouth and tell her, doesn't matter if she gets mad, she has to know. You can't do this by yourself. I would tell mom before the boyfriend though, she will be able to help you more than he will (I am assuming he is your age or close to it). Then you are your mom need to have a really long heart to heart (once she feels up to talking to you of course) and get her opinion on all of this. You don't believe in abortion, but there are other options out there besides abortion. Talk to your mom, and talk to her now-well when she wakes up. Talk to her when she is alone (no other family members in the room). Show that you are scared and feel bad about the decisions you made, this will help some. Don't scream and be rude to her, just be honest. She might not freak out as bad as you think she will.



AND DON'T LISTEN TO ALL THE CRAZIES ON HERE, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ABORTION, DON'T GET ONE, YOU WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOURSELF



I had to come back and edit this....a baby will not care that you are 13, a baby will NOT know the difference until it is older anyways. You live with your family so you will have a built in support system for raising this child. And come on people, I think the poor girl has already realized that she should of used protection or should of waited a little longer to have sex, she doesn't need to be told how stupid she is-that is not going to make her unpregnant. And as I stated above if you don't believe in abortion, then DO NOT do it. You do need to tell you mom asap because you are concidered a "high risk" pregnancy (meaning you are at high risk for complications duriing your pregnancy due to your age). There are a lot of girls your age who have babies, still finish school and go on to college, and have a great life in the end (all with their families help of course). The answer to wait until the week before the baby is born is just plain stupid, the longer you wait to go to a doctor the more you endanger yourself and the baby. Someone as young as you will need special care and monitoring during pregnancy to ensure you and the baby stay healthy.
Blair
2008-08-07 00:43:32 UTC
Honey, they're going to find out eventually. You better tell them. If you think getting an abortion is wrong, having sex at 13 is worse. You might get very sick or even die if you have this baby. So, you can choose between killing yourself AND the baby, or just getting rid of the baby that has no feelings whatsoever yet.

Just sit them down and explain that you know what you did is wrong, and it is inappropriate. But tell them birth and sex is a natural and beautiful thing and is nothing to be ashamed of.





And if this is a joke you have no sense of humor and this isn't funny.
2008-08-07 00:40:52 UTC
If you can't even communicate to your boyfriend that you're pregnant, you really don't even need to be having sex.

If you truly believe abortion is wrong, then you have no more options other than giving the baby up for adoption or just having the baby.

13 is too young to be having sex and too young to raise a baby or even be pregnant.

You have to just tell your mom.

Write it in a letter, that way you can explain everything and purpose a plan.

Believe me, when it comes down to it, your mom won't be angry. It can't be undone; you can only go forward.
Dincht
2008-08-07 00:48:39 UTC
Tell to your mom that you are pregnant, so she can help you. Being a young mother can affect your education. Recent studies though have found that these mothers had already dropped out of school prior to becoming pregnant and those in school at the time of their pregnancy were as likely to graduate as their peers. You can't hide it so the best thing you can do is to tell your parents about it. Good luck take care of your child.
2008-08-07 00:43:59 UTC
Don't listen to the people below me.

I know its going to be hard but your 13!

You have your whole life ahead of yourself.

Abortion is your own choice only you can make that decision.

You can have the baby but find a different home for it,

i know it will be tough but you have a long time to have kids.

find a family that is unable to get pregnant and give the baby to them.

and you can make arrangements to see the baby once in a while.

Just be sure you tell your parents. Just come right out and say it.

Your mom will help you even if she gets upset.

Things will be okay.

don't worry.

Tell me how things go.

Much love and good luck

Jessika
Name Hidden
2008-08-07 00:41:48 UTC
What I would do is tell your mom first don't ever let ANYONE try to change you decision about abortion. Just tell your mom! What's the worse that could happen? Then tell the guy because if you truely need someone there for you the guy is gonna run like hell and your mom will probably be pretty pissed but she will most likely help you. You need to see a gyneocologist(examine your private parts) so that the baby will help and to make positively absolutely sure you are. You're mom will probably help out a lot more than you could alone or with the guy!
itsasecret
2008-08-07 00:53:19 UTC
I think in this situation you need to not be thinking about yourself. Think about the child. Do you really think your child would like to be born to a 13 year old mother who cannot support her? Abortion is a hard thing to deal with and you will probably think back at this time and be glad you got one. This ordeal will also better yourself hopefully by making you chose to wait tell your older or becomming more safe. As i said don't think about yourself but your unborn child! Please make the right decision
2008-08-07 00:46:22 UTC
Well look at it like this, your pregnant and that's that. You have to tell your mom because you need to start seeing an obgyn for your baby's health. Yes your mom will be very disappointed, but she's your mom so she will eventually forgive you and be happy about the baby, because being mad isn't going to change what the reality is. It shouldn't be as hard to tell your boyfriend because both of you knew what you were doing so he shouldn't be surprised that your pregnant. Just please tell your mom immediately.
2008-08-07 00:43:51 UTC
oh wow. I'm not going to say "tell them NOW" cause I know i wouldnt. Ask some1 2 take u 2 the doctor and ask if yoru can talk to them "confidentially". it makes you sound like ur real mature. then just tell teh dr. only if she or he promoses 2 keep quiet. You'll be okay, just get ur BF alone and be all "do u luv me no matter what? so u trust my desicions?" and stuff. Email me- I'll be 13 in 4 months so u can trust me 2 talk 2 u cause i dont even no u. wait do u live in florida?..... (mrschristinaarcuri@yahoo.com) I wont critisize u or whatever. and im not some old pervy guy either. Promise.
Spazz
2008-08-07 00:42:18 UTC
Perhaps one of the hardest parts of getting pregnant as a teen is telling your parents (and you will have to tell them at some point). Speak with the father of your child to see if he is willing to be there with you when you tell your parents. Be willing to do the same for him when he tells his parents. If you think it will be easier, you might want to tell one parent first and then let them tell the other or be there with you when you break the news.



You could also write your parents a letter. Tell them you really want and need their support right now. Obviously, you don't want your parents to freak out, but understand that they probably will. Give them a chance to absorb the news and then talk with them calmly. Explain what happened, whether you made the mistake of not using birth control or you used birth control but it didn't work. If you've made a choice about your pregnancy, tell them about your decision and explain how you came to that conclusion. Listen to any objections that they might have. They might raise a point that you hadn't thought of.



If you have decided to become a parent, your parents will probably be very concerned since you are still a child yourself (at least to them). They do have a right to be concerned. It is well known that teen mothers are at a significant disadvantage in society compared with women who become mothers later in life.



Babies born to teen mothers tend to have a lower birth weight, have a higher risk of suffering from abuse or neglect and tend to perform poorly in school. Only a small number of teen mothers are likely to complete high school and even fewer will go on to higher education. Teen mothers are also more likely to end up on welfare.



But just because these statistics exist, doesn't mean you have to become part of it. There are teen mothers who have gone on to success, through hard work, determination, and a strong support system. And it's not only your parents who can offer you support. Other family members might be able to help you out along with some of your friends.



Also, check out what your community has to offer. There may be special organizations or services designed to help out teen mothers. Check to see if any high schools near you offer daycare services that would allow you to go to school and have your baby nearby. You could also check to see if there are any schools that are specifically geared towards teen mothers.



Being pregnant when you are a teenager can be very scary. Don't be afraid to ask for help whether it is from your parents, your friends, your partner, or from a community organization. Remember, there's a reason for the saying "It takes a village to raise a child."
cowgrl2205
2008-08-07 00:40:24 UTC
Even though your mom will freak, you HAVE to tell her. It won't be an easy thing to do. Sit her down and tell her you have to talk to her about something very important and to please let you have your say before she says anything. You also should tell your boyfriend. As the father, he has a right to know. Then take the next step after you've talked to all parties involved. Good luck, hun.
2008-08-07 00:41:30 UTC
let me help. if i were you i would get an abortion or give it to adoption. if you dont want to do that, there is no special way to tell your mom cause shes gonna find out in about 3 or 5 months and im saying this because i feel your pain. next time wait and the next time you do it please be careful and 25 or older
2008-08-07 00:39:53 UTC
Trust me, you don't want to keep the baby... Also... you should have thought about this moment before you had sex....





just tell your parents and get it over with... stop making babies....



Every teen in America is getting pregnant and you are only hurting yourself and the life of an innocent baby...



Not to mention your parents... If they wanted the burden of another child they would have had another... obviously they were done having kids and now you just put a dent in their retirement plans.....



If you were my child you would have an abortion...

and never allowed to leave the house until you turned 18.
2008-08-07 00:54:19 UTC
Just come out and tell her.

yeah it sucks that your young and yes you messed up huge, but your only going to hurt yourself and the baby the longer you wait it out.

you have to tell her you cant do this alone.

shes going to be pissed. I can guarantee it but she'll come around and she'll help you as much as she can. and let this be a lesson learned to not have sex anymore until your ready to support a family, because right now whats going to happen is that your mom is going to have to take care of that baby being thats your so young yourself. I hope it works out for you and your baby.
DAVID H
2008-08-07 01:12:06 UTC
i was 24 when i had my daughter...and i was married with my family around me... but it was still so hard...you really need to think if this is what you want the rest of your life to be...im not saying having a child isnt wonderful and amazing and all that but there is no way i would have coped at your age....you should be having fun with your friends.. there is plenty of time to be a grown up when you get there
[VotE me BeSt AnsWEr]
2008-08-07 00:45:12 UTC
First you should tell your boyfriend to get him to support you so when you tell your mother it will be easier. First tell your mom you have been having sex, then, after she cools off, tell her your pregnant. She will be mad, but she will learn to support you and your decisions.



If you need anymore help, visit this site! I hope everything goes well:



http://www.pregnantteenhelp.org
Lauren [Dane's Mama]3/3<3
2008-08-07 00:43:33 UTC
your life is not over



but with having sex comes responsibilty.



because you messed up you need to tell your mother ASAP!!!



acknowlge the fact that you messed up and either put it up for adoption or have an abortion but its something that you AND your mother must decide



dont have sex with out realizing what your risking like STD and pregnancy...
MegaMa
2008-08-07 00:41:07 UTC
I know there are some pregnancy crisis centers that could help. If you don't have contact or don't know how to reach I'm sure there is a local free clinic and they can give you moral support and redirect you to centers that can help you.
2008-08-07 00:41:33 UTC
wow honey,

ok tell your mom asap you need all the help you can get with this, but im not gonna lie she is most likely going to be mad at you but seriosuly you nee her help and your gonna hae to tell her sooner or later. The good thing is i can tell that you are at least a responsible girl because your going to kkeep the baby that shows that your smart. dont let anyone tell you other wise, abortion is wrong, and if it came down to that then do adoption.

but my adivice to you is tell your mom sooooon!

hope it all works out for you!
You Know It
2008-08-07 00:40:05 UTC
Calmly tell her exactly what you did, and that you know it's wrong and you're sorry. I would just spit it out to your boyfriend though. If I were you, I wouldn't throw your life away like this. It'd be best to give it up for adoption.
Doll D
2008-08-07 01:28:37 UTC
i think you need to talk with mom ,so both can decide what to do , girl 13 is young for sex without protection ,AIDS and other contagious disease ,so conservative parent and government teach your kids about safe esx and that sex is not filthy dirty that is part of life so kids use protection and talk toyour before you have sex
2008-08-07 00:45:51 UTC
ok 1st of all i praise you for not wanting to abort. but seriously do you know what is involved with all that? is your mum a person you feel you can talk to? or a older sister or aunty or someone? you need to talk to someone about this cause you cant hide this forever. here is my email addy and if you want to talk let me know. pwhittenham@hotmail.com
2008-08-07 00:42:00 UTC
damnnnnn girl your only 13 !

well how hard can it be to tell your mom and boyfriend ?

well telling your boyfriend is the e-z thing !

but telling your mom is gonna be hard !

well i say just tell her when your like 1 week away from having it !

thats what i would do !

but how hard could it be ?

its not like she will beat you up or anything !

i think lol :)



well....

hope you take what i said !

but i guess you can tell your boyfriend kinda right now because it should not be that hard telling him.
Yan
2008-08-07 00:39:30 UTC
u better come clean with ur parents because they're the ONLY ones who could help u right now. Also there is NO WAY they'll let u keep the child..
Kez
2008-08-07 00:46:05 UTC
Gosh you people give out some mean answers.

this girl needs support not immature idiots.



Dont let anyone push you to do something that you don't want to do. You will need to tell someone though and get the checkups you need etc.

Hope it goes well for you and congrats on keeping the baby. Standup for yourself.
blaaaaah
2008-08-07 00:39:19 UTC
oh wow, well your gonna have to tell her sweetie. theres no other way if your gonna keep the baby. just sit down with her and talk about it. then tell your boyfriend. hope everything works out ok. <3
2008-08-07 00:38:55 UTC
Wow. 13 jeesh. Just tell them. Better to tell them now, than for them to find out the other way. Good luck.
Natassia G
2008-08-07 00:51:15 UTC
Ok litsen first of all, it was WRONG to have sex. Please do NOT get an aboriton that is killing ur own childs life tell ur parent(s) then tell ur boyfriend and tell him to tell his parents. if you can keep it great but i if you cant put it up for adoption chances are ur baby will have a Great home. i wish you a lot of luck

xoxoxo

one more thing..

STOP having sex until ur 18
Pretty Maggie Money Eyes
2008-08-07 00:40:19 UTC
You won't be able to hide it much longer dear, might as well come clean to your mom first. You'll need her support through whatever you decide to do. Good luck.
xmarissajeanne
2008-08-07 00:39:47 UTC
as for your mom, you have to tell her you messed up

i started at thirteen so i know, i'm fourteen now

i've never been preg but i've had scares and told my boyfriend right away every time.
2008-08-07 00:45:15 UTC
tell the truth..NOW ...it gonna worst later...ur are only 13.....that is too young to have a child......abortion it not that bad.......at 13 you cant afford nothing to this baby.......only stress N worry.



just tell urself that everytime a guy jerk.....he kill over 10 million potential baby......



and your it not born yet...............goodluck
JT
2008-08-07 00:41:04 UTC
Well, perhaps your mom will be excited to become a grandmother. despite the fact that your only 13. i wish you luck!
Fredd
2008-08-07 00:40:02 UTC
Try to inform your boy friend ask him for responsibility and married officially, for the sake of your child.
2008-08-07 00:45:00 UTC
This is yet another silly prank Q to get us all annoyed
littlemisshale
2008-08-07 00:39:50 UTC
it's better to tell your mom before she finds out on her own. you have to tell your boyfriend, and talk to him about it as well. poor thing, i hope everything works out.
futurechef06
2008-08-07 00:39:45 UTC
tell your boyfriend first and see what can yall do together to work things out but you have to make a decision quick before you get to far because you dont know what your mother might want you to do. but i say keep it and be safe... email me if you want to talk

futurechef06@yahoo.com
superTHEMAINEthatooh!!
2008-08-07 00:38:58 UTC
I think the best thing to do would be to tell her, she's your mother - that's what she's there for, you can't go through this on your own.
leafmusic2003
2008-08-07 00:39:12 UTC
omg!! i wouldnt be so quick to say abortion is wrong.. i mean you really have to think... are you old enough to raise a child, how could you possibly do it?? you may think its wrong to get an abortion, but its also wrong to bring a child into this world that you cant properly take care of.
2008-08-07 00:40:20 UTC
Just tell her, thats the only thing you can do. Tell her right now right after you read this ******* message
2008-08-07 00:38:45 UTC
bahahahaha lol u sound like my cuzin just tell her straight up she going to find out anyways so just get it over with
2008-08-07 00:38:23 UTC
Great! A baby having another baby!
Kelly L
2008-08-07 00:38:32 UTC
Go to a doctor or planned parenthood right away. Tell someone so they can help you.
2008-08-07 00:40:03 UTC
AHHHH!!!

happened to my friend wooah

you dont keep it from your mom because she will find otu anyway!

you should tell someone soon really!!



and if somone gives you shi t about having sex, dont listen!! :D

that means you prettier ahah XDDD



GOOD LUCk!! ;***
2008-08-07 00:39:11 UTC
wow.



well you just need to tell her, and your right she will freak out and that reaction cant surprise you.



you have been so unbelievably silly.
* dha bestt;; <3
2008-08-07 00:38:03 UTC
omg how do you know that your pergnant?

i have a question. did you even start puberty yet[ur period] because if you didnt you can be pregnant. but yeah i think you should tell your mom because shes going to find out and why were you having unprotected sex. why were u having sex at all! dont you know that you can get STDS and HIV/AIDS. be smart on the decisions you make. im only 13 myself and im not even sexually active.
2008-08-07 00:38:22 UTC
well for one your screen name is hooters, you sound really unmature and need to get help by starting to tell your mom.





WHY DIDN'T YOU USE PROTECTION ???? YOUR MOTHER DIDN'T TEACH YOU?
XD
2008-08-07 00:47:39 UTC
the maury show
SnowKitty
2008-08-07 00:39:07 UTC
You could run away from home for 9 months?
Darth Maul
2008-08-07 00:57:37 UTC
adoption
2008-08-07 00:39:16 UTC
You Think!
Kaycee*
2008-08-07 00:39:18 UTC
i'd explain to my mom asap what happened.she might understand,if not then idk what to tell you,are you pos you're prego?





well good luck,
2008-08-07 00:54:00 UTC
What were u thinking u shouldf not be thining bout that now r u crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
?
2008-08-07 00:39:05 UTC
dont have sex.
lexi
2008-08-07 00:38:48 UTC
get an abortion.

nobody will have to know.





or







tell your mom

and she can freak out.
indian_angel2003
2008-08-07 00:38:00 UTC
wow there goes your whole life!


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