Am I wrong?? I am MAD at my BFF..she is 8 months pregnant and STILL working.?

Question

It's not like she has a desk job, NOOOO she's a state inspector. The reason I'm so mad is because she's already lost one baby and this pregnany was high risk. I don't like her being around those cars, inhaling the fumes from the cars and just plain working THIS late in her pregnancy. It's not like she's gonna be the sole provider for her baby, she lives with her fiancee and he works.
My question is, do you think I'm wrong for not talking to her?? Am I wrong for being PISSED that she is still working??
We've been friends for 11 years and we've always had the kind of friendship where if one dosen't approve, the other dosen't do...maybe we are actually growing up and she can make her own choices now (we're 21). I don't know what to do, I don't want to be angry at her (we've NEVER had a fight before or gone a day without talking) but I don't want the baby coming out sick because of her working around cars.

Answer 1

Her doctor, if concerned, would have told her to stop working. They always know what is best for each and every pregnancy. Inspecting cars really isn't TOO strenuous either and the area she is in should be very well ventilated, so the fumes aren't too much of an issue.



You can tell her your concerns, and it's great you're such a good friend and that you're worried about her and her baby. Ask her if her doctor has said anything about her working now. Many women work right up until they are a week or so from their due date and have healthy babies. Just tell her to be careful and not to over-work herself.

Answer 2

No offense, but her working really has nothing nothing to do with you. If it's a high risk pregnancy, I'm sure she has discussed this with her doctor. Most women work up until a week or two before they are due (some work until the day of). In the end, all you can do is tell her your concerns and that you are worried - and not in an angry way (again, it's more between her, her fiancee and her doctor than it is her and you).

Answer 3

im sure she is fine if the pregnancy was in danger her doctor would have told her to stop working and im sure she would have knowing the pain of losing one baby already but she can work right up to the point she goes in labor as long as the doc says the baby is ok i know many people who worked the whole nine months till the last possible minute and then they had 3 months maternity leave where they can be with there baby instead of 2 months cause they took a month before the baby was due and so know they have to leave the baby to go back to work sooner.

Answer 4

i can absolutely understand your frustration. I think i would defiantly feel the same way. However i hate to say it but she's an adult and she has to make her own choices. I just don't understand how or why she would want to do this considering she has already lost a baby, and this pregnancy is high risk, this makes no sense to me AT ALL. I would certainly not let it go though keep letting her know how u feel about this. Yes she's an adult and it is her choice but she's bing very smart about this at all, she's making these choices not only for her but for her unborn child as well and if you ask me she's being selfish.

Answer 5

Pregnancy is not a disease. Women can work and carry on their daily lives right up till having the baby in most cases. How about focusing on how you can HELP her instead of stressing her out? Offer to take her out to dinner after she's had a long day's work, or drop off a meal she and her b/f can just re-heat, to make things easier on her and show your support. Or maybe some nice bath stuff? Tell her your sorry as you show up with something nice for her.

Answer 6

Maybe you should just talk to her about your concerns. There's no point in ruining a friendship over a difference of opinion and it sure would be a shame for you not to be part of the baby's life.



Just ask if she's spoken to her doctor about working so late in the pregnancy. If the Dr says it's ok then try to relax about it and support her.

Answer 7

You are being ridiculous. Do you think she wants the baby coming out sick? Do you know that she didn't ask the doctor about working this late in her pregnancy?



If anything it is exposure to things in the early stages of pregnancy that are the most dangerous. At this point the baby is nearly fully developed and just putting on weight.

Answer 8

You are wrong, you're right to be concerned, but it's not your place to judge or tell her what is best for her. I worked until I was 39 weeks pregnant, I had my baby by c-section 3 days after I started maternity leave. I'm a CNA who lifts and bathes people all day as well as a full time nursing student. I knew my limitations and I made my decisions. It's not your place to say what she should do for herself. She knows her body and her limits let her do what's best for her.

Answer 9

I worked up until 2 days before I had my son . If she were at such a high risk, her Dr. would have her on bed rest. Which obviously doesn't seem nessecary. She is ok, the baby will be ok, and yeah, it doesn't seem right for you to be this angry. She knows her body, and she will be ok. The last thing she needs right now, is her BF to be angry at her. Please, let it go, be supportive, and loving. She needs you right now, and not tobe on her.

Answer 10

Yeah, you are being rediculious. Maybe she needs to work for financial reasons. Also, the laws only give you 12 weeks of leave IF you even qualify for that, so why take it before you give birth and then have less time to spend with your baby when he/she actually comes.

Answer 11

Many women work right up until her due date. Your not her doctor. So yes you are over reacting. If there were issues with her job her doctor would put her on early maternity leave. Its her baby her life her choice to keep working. If its not bothering her why should it bother you?

Answer 12

Don't judge someone before you walked in their shoes.



Don't be so upset with her, I am sure if her doctor was worried about her, she wouldn't be working. Talk to her about it, don't get pissed off. She has enough stress on her from being pregnant, she doesn't need her best friend upsetting her even more.

Answer 13

yes, you're wrong for not talking to her!!!



i'm sure that your attitude has done nothing but make things MORE stressful for her. you can't manage to be her friend & support her because you're mad that she's still working even though YOU disapprove?!? i think it's time you grow up. if her DOCTOR says it's okay to work, you need to support her decision to do so, like a TRUE friend! man, if one of my friends pulled something like that, they wouldn't be a friend any more!!

Answer 14

i believe you are wrong



it is NOT for you to decide when she goes out of work that is between her and the Dr and even the babies dad. SHAME on you for putting more stress on her about it

Answer 15

yes you are wrong. it is her baby and therefore, it's up to her and her doctor whether she should be working. if her doctor hasn't alerted her to any likely health risk, then why are you so up in arms? you are going to mess up your friendship with such overbearing and controlling tendencies.

Answer 16

If her doctor hasn't excused her from work, then she's fine. It's not your place to tell her what she can and cannot afford to do. If she is working, it's safe to assume it's because she has to.

Answer 17

This is none of your business...the question is why are you making it your business. I would consider your own issues before judging others.

Answer 18

honestly if it were dangerous for her then she would have known because her dr would tell her! u should be supportive to her SHE IS PREGNANT, the more u tell her not to do something the more she is going to want to do it!

Answer 19

Ultimately, this is none of your business.