Do you think a woman is missing something if she chooses not to have children?

Question

I'm a childfree individual and wish to remain childfree throughout my life.

Every now and then, I come across someone who is baffled at my decision and might say that I am "missing" something.

Do you think a woman is missing something if she chooses not to have children?

(Also posted in parenting)

Answer 1

I don't think that at all. I think it's a stereotype that women MUST want to be mothers. I know MANY child-free individuals and I think they are great people and they don't need to spawn children to prove that. I also know many parents who are also as great of people and they CHOSE to have kids. Child-free is just as valid a choice as choosing to be a parent.

Answer 2

Of course she's missing something:



dirty diapers

temper tantrums

PTA meetings

the joy of being the parent of a 13-year-old

worrying about whether your kid is having sex

peer pressure



Do what's right for you. I wished to remain childfree, too; but accidents happen, so here I am on the Pregnancy board at Yahoo answers.

Answer 3

What will she be missing? Maybe she will miss urine, fecal matter, vomit, or crying? I know she will miss looking for a baby-sitter, having no stamps in her passport, etc.



As a man we have it worse. If we choose to be childfree we are strongly disrespected. We get called “gay”, “half a man”, “communist”. Someone even once told me that because I am educated, I should give up my good paying job to a poor father who has a family, and needs it more than I do. What the???

Answer 4

Yes! She's missing on painful childbirth, dirty diapers, exaustion, crying baby which makes you want to give it something, and so on, and so on.

Personally, I find pregnancy disgusting. I couldn't care for a child if I wanted to. I'm a writer and need my time and space to be alone and develop plot lines. I throw dirty looks at parents whose baby is crying loudly in public. If I weren't a well mannered person, I would tell them to give it something. Definitely not my thing.

However, it's a personal choice. People don't understand how I can be so determined to never be a mother at 15, I don't understand how someone can want children. It's a personal decision and it is to be respected.

Answer 5

No, I think a woman who doesn't want children should not have them because it could lead to her abusing or neglecting the child. There is nothing "wrong" with a woman who doesn't want children and you are not missing anything if your life is full filling without children. I don't think that just because a woman has mammaries she should want to have children. To those who think you are "missing" something you might ask them..."What am I missing? 2 am feedings? Shitty diapers? Colic?, Stretch marks?" I would say that for the most part those people who feel you are "missing" something are jealous of you. Just ignore them.

Answer 6

Absolutely not...

So much of this world think that having children is what your 'supposed' to do in life and that's ridiculous! I know many women who have chosen not to have children and they are just as fulfilled (if not more) than mothers...

I used to hate the idea of having children & I don't even like other ppls children (i love my niece and my baby-to-be)...

Motherhood is just not for some... you're not missing something....

Answer 7

I think so, but that's just my personal opinion. I know a few women who have chosen to remain childless forever and I don't understand it, but I respect their decision. Parenting isn't for everyone and some women just never develop their "motherly instinct" that makes them desire to have babies.



JeriLyn - I don't think jealousy has anything to do with it. I know people who think I'm crazy and "missing out" for wanting to have children and raise a family, does that automatically mean that THEY'RE jealous? No, they just have different beliefs and priorities, which is fine. I don't know why it has to be construed as something so negative.

Answer 8

I think it depends on the person. I mean yes, of course they are missing out on having a baby, but I may be missing out on brussel sprouts because I simply refuse to try them. Just because I am missing out on them, however, does not necessarily mean that I would like them if I gave in and tried them.



I think motherhood is for some women and not for others. I couldn't dream of going through life never experiencing raising a child, but that's just me. If you have no desire, then I guess that is your prerogative.



I do, however, feel that all those women who never have kids or never plan on having kids would change their mind if they knew just how special it really is. So I guess that yes, I feel they are missing out...but I bet they don't think they are missing out on anything and that's what really matters.

Answer 9

Find an 80 year old woman who never had kids and ask her that question. That would be the best person to get the answer from.

Answer 10

i would think yes. while you can still have a full happy life without because some women cant but children are a blessing. beyond what you could imagine until you have your own. i think you are missing out on the greatest feeling in the world if you choose not to have a child. motherhood is amazing.

Answer 11

my old boss was 45, and no kids, she travelled alot, she seemed to be happy, I think your missing out on the highs and lows of parenting but im sure you make up for it else where, I think it's wise if you dont want kids to not have them.

Answer 12

To each his own.