How do you know you are ready to have a baby?

Question

I know it is different for everyone, but there is probably some common feeling or thought that women have that indicates to them that they are ready for motherhood.
I am 27 and in a wonderful and loving relationship which I am hoping becomes marriage within the year. Having a baby is exciting and wanted by us both but I still feel so scared. Any advice?

Answer 1

My best advice is to get married first. Give your marriage a year at least before trying to have a baby. Marriage is a huge commitment and takes a lot of adjusting....no matter how long you've dated. Marriage and a baby in the first year is a lot of emotional stress that could be avoided. Take a little time to enjoy being a MRS. Then become a mom! Good luck!

Answer 2

Hoping becomes a marriage within the year? I would wait until it was a marriage before you start popping out babies. Of course one doesnt have to be married to have a baby and marriage doesnt always mean that it will make good parents or even guaruntee that the man will stick around and be a good dad. I doubt that many people have been really ready to have a baby and done just fine and others that have felt that they were ready turn out to be the worst parents in the world. Babies are cute but they do grow and while they are growing they need alot of attention and care. They can also make or break a relationship. You never know what you are going to get either. You may get a perfect little baby that never cries and is never any trouble or one that cries all the time and grows up being the problem child. A baby will change your life. Could be for the worst or for the best. You never know. Thats why no one really knows when they are really ready. If you feel that you are ready to devote all your free time to another life and have the means to provide for that life then you are as ready as youll ever get.

Answer 3

Hi,



Isn't it wonderful to see other mommies with babies, or watch TLC and all of the delivery shows? I love it too. However, having a baby isn't all about the first few months, or even the first few years. Sometimes we have to plan our lives out like we're playing a good game of Chess; each move has to be thought out in advance.



What concerned me, is when you said, 'in a wonderful and loving relationship which I am hoping becomes marriage within the year'. Darling, wait until you get married! Sure you want a baby now, and that's because us women have hormones that cause this 'urge' to want to get pregnant! Remember, even though we are human, we are still animals at heart, and have those 'mating seasons' when we just want to find a mate and get impregnated. NORMAL!



But, since we have so many options now a days, and so much as far as birth control is concerned, I would recommend that you PLAN to have a child, rather than take the easy route and 'have sex, get pregnant, repeat'. Since you want a baby so much, how about planning on being the "best mommy ever"? Why conceive a child with a man who hasn't even married you yet? Being a single mom is hard; I come from a single parent household.



Do this:



Open up a couple of savings accounts. Put some money in those accounts for the babies future (school, clothes, emergency, etc). Speak with doctors about your health, and have both you and your boyfriend tested for any genetic issues that might be passed down to the child.



Consider how much money you will need for diapers, healthcare, food, housing, etc. And always be prepared in case the child is born with an illness or medical problem; we never know, but it's good to be prepared.



What about your job? What about his job? Are you happy living where you do? THINK about all of these questions, and TAKE ADVANTAGE of the fact that you even have the option to plan out a pregnancy! And, since this is the real world, consider what may happen if your relationship ends. Are you financially, physically, emotionally and mentally prepared to have a child, if the dad decides to leave?



Be a good mother, and not just a 'woman who has a child'. I know of sooooo many people (both gay and straight), who wish they could conceive easily...this is a blessing, and I would "wait until the marriage is confirmed, the finances are straighted out, and the health issues are resolved".



Good Luck



Desi :-)

Answer 4

So many people answered that you can never know and you can never BE ready. Huh? I disagree. I felt ready when I got married and knew that the man I married wanted to BUILD a life and a family with me. I WANTED another baby badly. I can speak from 2 sides of a spectrum because I was in a toxic relationship many years ago and I have a precious teenage daughter from it. I DID NOT want another baby then. As soon as I began to heal from that I started craving a baby. People are right about the financial aspect. I think it is rare that you feel you can put a silver spoon in a baby's mouth. BUT the baby becomes a part of what you're already doing and I think it is not so hard. I can say this after 12 years of singleparenthood. But what are you afraid of? Remember you have the power to get the outcomes in your life that you want. Bind up that fear with the knowledge that babies are a gift and you and your future husband can offer a nurturing loving and healthy environment for that baby and lots of love to grow. Lastly, you should be willing to take the nutrition and exercise steps to be as healthy as you can so the baby will have the best start and your body will be able to sustain a healthy pregnancy. Best wishes.

Answer 5

After your married and settled into your life with your new husband, it's really wonderful to take at least a year just to get to know this new person your living with and to iron out differences. Amazingly, even though you love each other, once you start to live together, that's when you REALLY get to know each other and it's often harder that first year. It's also wonderful to take some time for the two of you, travel a little, or do things the two of you enjoy and make some memories. Then when that beautiful little baby comes along you can settle into the next 18 plus years, depending on how many you have raising your children. But the good thing is you had that time building on your relationship with your new spouse first before you started devoting part of your time to a new little baby. It really does make a difference. Everyone wins. You will know when the time is right. You don't have to feel rushed into anything. My first one was born at 30. I was more settled and ready then. Best wishes to you.

Answer 6

I think you should have a baby as soon as you and your (hopefully) husband feel you're ready. :) All I can share is my own personal experience. Pretty much all throughout my life, I always wanted to have kids. This continued through my 20s.



However, once I entered my 30s, I started seriously rethinking this. I love kids, but I don't think I'm cut out to have kids. I might have been when I was younger, but now I am a very different person. I have some health conditions that I didn't have in my 20s. They're not life-threatening, but suffice it to say, they'd make a pregnancy more difficult and probably much more uncomfortable. I'm also having more problems with my ADD as I get older, which I didn't have in my 20s. My psych thinks this is due to co-morbidities of anxiety or depression. I'm not sure about that, but I know that I can barely even manage my own life, it's such a disorganized mess. :( I'm working to change that, but the fact remains that I get extremely easily overwhelmed by things. I'm also having job- and financial-related difficulities that I didn't have earlier. Plus I just don't have as much hyper-type energy that I did in my 20s, and can't juggle as many things.



Not that you needed to hear all that! *blush* I guess my point is that it's good to have a baby when you still want one and can handle one. I wanted one for a long time when I was younger, and I'm sure I would have been a very good mother. But I am no longer sure I want one, and am no longer sure I'd be a responsible, organized, well-paced enough mom. But that's okay, because at least I recognize it in myself before I get in over my head. :) For what it's worth, you sound like you'd make a GREAT mom! The simple act of being scared sounds normal to me; you're human, after all! As long as you don't have all the trepidations and problems I mentioned, I think you'll bo okay. Good luck and best wishes to you and your boyfriend! :)

Answer 7

wait until you're married. Then, wait awhile. Enjoy one another, because once you have a child, you won't have any more alone time you take for granted without even realizing it. Not for another 20 years! (or 18, if youre tough :D)



This is a silly comparison, but I want to be a mother too - some day. Think of all the things you want for your child. When you get to day in your life where you can say, we both have the time, we both have accomplished enough with our lives to put something else before us, and we both want this (and ofcourse, are in a stable relationship - no fighting every week!) then talk about it together.



The worst thing in life is to have a child, even if its wanted, and not be able to give it everything you'd like to. Be a grown up, and you'll know you're ready to be the best parent you could ever be when you can *honestly now* say, WE'RE ready to put this baby first.



Don't be ignorant or stubborn, but honest, with yourself.



If you're still iffy, get a kitten. It will behave better with a baby than a dog, and you'll see more of what it's like to play "mom" and "dad". Both babies and kittens are cute - but also expensive, time consuming, needy, and a responsibility like no other. Babies are babies! Goodluck!

Answer 8

First off, you're old enough to be a mother. Women reach full maturity at age 24, when most women are ready to be pregnant. You are also at a good age for getting married. The divorce rate drops like a bomb, when it takes place over the age of 24. Unfortunately, that is because the woman is fully an adult. Men don't reach that point until age 30. Waiting until he is 30 would be best before having a child.



Don't worry if you don't get pregnant right away. Recent studies show that women who have trouble getting pregnant, not having a children until their 30s, have the longest life spans. The theory is they just matured slower. You may be scared because you are one of those humans with the longer life spans, and your body is telling you that you are not yet ready.



Consider volunteering some of your time at a children's hospital, perhaps cradling abandon children, and children with AIDS. It may give you some feel about children. Plus, it is just a good thing to do.

Answer 9

You hear babies crying and it does not irritate you, it sounds like music in your ears, you window-shop babies' stores or every time you see a mother with a baby you stop to see it. I think that these are the signs that would work for me to tell me that I am ready to have a baby.... But seriously, having a baby is a great responsibility... Since you are in a relationship already wait until you get married. If both of you really want to have a baby and you can provide to it anything needed then go for it!!!!



Good luck!!!

Answer 10

a few things to keep in mind - make sure you are financially stable and that your significant other is more than willing to help out in the parenting duties.



take a kid out for a test drive (haha). but really -if you know someone who has a young one (preferrably under 1 year) who would let you take the baby for the weekend - do it! see what it's like, that's probably the best way to know if you are ready. if you can't handle it for a weekend, you certainly aren't ready to handle it 24/7!



i knew i would do just fine because i helped out with my niece so much when she was a baby that i had to tell her on a regular basis "not mommy" - that, and i helped my other sister at her home daycare. i joked with my friend telling her she neede to have a baby so i could be a weekend mommy - i had one before her though.



and feeling scared is natural - you haven't done this before and it's a new experience, you don't know what is going to happen (it's different for everyone). are you scared of the pregnancy and birth? or once the child is out? fear of pregnancy and birth is normal. fear of having a child - you may want to wait.

Answer 11

I am 34. I've been pregnant twice. I miscarried in my 2nd trimester both times. The last being May 7th of this year.



If I were you, I would move past the fear and get on with having babies. Life is short, and pregnancy is unpredictable.



I don't think anyone else can tell you if you will ever "feel" ready or not. I don't think there are any huge signs to let you know when it is a good time for you. You will always be scared, from the moment you start thinking about concieving, the entire duration of your pregnancy, and for the remainder of your childrens lives (or your life).



I wish you the absolute best.

Answer 12

Think of your baby first. If you can't don't have the baby. This means:



1. Get married first - Assure that your baby has a chance at growing up in a two parent home. If you cannot get (or give) a life long commitment to the baby's father, you are not considering the needs of the baby first, and you are not ready. If you don't take stalk in this as a philosophy, understand this as a statistic - children from two parent homes are far more stable emotionaly. less likely to do crime or drugs, and more likely to engage in a stable long term relationship in adulthood. You owe your child that advantage. (remember "baby first")



2. Assure Financial and social stability - Poetically, love conquers all. Realistically, assure that you have enough financial resources to support a baby. Ideally, this would include an ability for one parent to be a stay at home parent. (Why would you have a kid if your going to raise it in day care?). Same with social stability. You should live in an environment that is healthy for the child, absent of alcoholism, abusive behavior, and other elements that will harm you child. Oh, and definitely start a college fund.



3. Get in shape - Your personal health at the time of pregnancy is a key indicator of the baby's health during and after pregnancy.



4, Know that you (and dad) are the primary care of your child - Listen to reasonable advice, but do not let peer pressure, grand parent pressure, or political correctness dictate a treatment for your baby that is not in it's best interest.



5. Your child will need you in ways both obvious and subtle - Be ready to read the same darn children's book over and over again. To stand in line for an hour to see Santa. Be ready to have dinner time at the table, without TV or interruptions, every night for the next 18 years. Be ready to sit on uncomfortale chairs or bleachers for ball games, concerts, recitals, and every award ceremony your child participates in. Be ready to give up any thought of personal life in the child's infant years, and most of it for the rest of the years.



6. Biggest cliche of all - Enjoy the time with your child. It's over way too fast.

Answer 13

First things first: there will be fear regardless of when you have a baby. There are so many things that are new to a new mother that there is no way there won't be fear. That is normal and completely OK.

As for when you are ready to have a baby. That is a little harder. One of the best things to look at first is your lifestyle. Remember that a baby will take most of your free time and then some. And it isn't for a short time such as until they are potty trained, learn to walk, etc. You are honestly making a life-long commitment to your baby. Are you READY to have that commitment? Also, are you ready for your world to be completely turned upside down? Everything that you are used to doing will be affected by your decision.

You both need to be sure that you are ready for the changes that will come - the lost sleep, additional spending, fear and (of course) undying love for a new life.

Babies are wonderful. Just be sure that YOU are ready. It's great if he is ready but it is ultimately YOU that will be there for the rest of your child's life.

Good luck girl!!

Answer 14

Once you are married for maybe 4-8 years....you can plan better at being a parent. If you have this choice that is! If one is pregnant, then one should have the baby. Excited about having a family...start baby sitting infants, and toddlers all at the same time, and on a regular basis...not when it is just convenient for you...but when it is required, and demanded of you. Do this for a while....then you will know that it takes more than excitement to keep it all together. For now if your options are that you can choose when to start a family...then take full advantage of it...start looking into a savings plan for the child to attend college. Live only on what you need and not what you like....or want...always have 3 months savings to cover all your bills for a full 3 months at all times....like keeping your car fueled...never half empty and always ready for a long trip. You should know that you are capable of being responsible this way before bringing another life into the world.

Answer 15

No one can tell you when you are ready but you are sure on your way to making your mind up, as both of you have already decided that you want children, you are not a youngster any more and if you want children it will have to be soon, you are 27 and before you know it your time will be up.



There is nothing that prepares a mother for motherhood as what a pregnancy does, once you feel that little life there you will know you made the right decision



I would advise that you wait until you are married, it is better that way then no one can point fingers

Answer 16

The right time to have baby is

1. Physically fit to give birth to a baby. A lady is normally ready physically from around the age 20 to give birth to a baby.

2. When you are psychologically prepared.

3. Confident there is no problem in raising.

Each society has its own rules or customs. In India even meeting two people is not permitted till marriage. Hence if there is no such restriction, then you can have a baby.

The above two

Answer 17

I tried to hold off having a baby til I was 26. And got the partying out of my system.



You are never really 'ready' to have a baby. You just wake up one day, and the only thing on your mind is baby clothes, babies, and baby names. And then one day, BAM, your pregnancy test comes out positive. And you feel the most vulnerable and beautiful feeling ever.



Being a mother is taking part in the miracle of life. I know when I had my son, I had never felt so beautiful as when he was in my womb.



It's normal to fret though. But good luck. :)

Answer 18

First make sure you are financial stable and secure to support a baby, and you may want to "get it in writing" in regards to caring for the child in the event of a split. You have to have a high level of maturity and paternal instincts and be ready to give up MOST of your freedom and free time for a while. Consider also the child may be a behavior problem which will take MUCH patience from you and also consider the possibility of birth defects. Your child may not respect you if you don't start out correctly so if you are not certain if you are ready then don't, married or not.

Answer 19

I sincerely think that I'll be ready to have a baby the day I'll be in a good loving relationship. I will be happy to raise a family with a special person who would make me feel like spending my whole life with him. I'm sure you'll grow comfortable with the idea & have a baby soon :)

Answer 20

You know you are ready to have a baby when you have the guts to ask the question.



If you wait for the "right" time it will never come. There will always be a reason to wait to have a baby, but the fact is that you can have a baby anytime. You'll find a way to make it work.



People who aren't ready to have a baby NEVER ask the question "How do you know you are ready to have a baby?" -- only people who ARE ready ask that question.



So the short answer... you're ready.

Answer 21

First of all you are NEVER ready to have a baby. They are forces of nature that will kick your feet from under you. However, you are experiencing that normal maternal instinct. You are almost out of your twenties, probably close or attained your career goals, thinking about marriage leads to thinking about a family. Don't stress it let it come naturally. If you are looking for marriage within a year don't add a baby as soon as the honeymoon is over. Enjoy each other as husband and wife first. Take a cruise to Conzumel, Mexico, take a ride to a couple of bed and breakfast inns, take a trip to Disneyworld and ride the "Big" rides(before you have to drag the kids to the Teacup and/or Dumbo ride), but most importantly...take a trip to the drugstore or doctor of your choice. Save the romance for a little while because babies have a built in romance detector and their main objective is to infiltrate it at all costs. When you AND your husband are ready you will know....cuz you'll be pregnant.

Answer 22

Wait till after you're married and are settled in more then you will less scared and worried as you are probaly feeling the what if's,like what if things don't work out and we break up. what if he finds somone lese or if he leaves we will be left alone or he dies and leaves no way of provision for you and the baby, there is many benefits to marriage and one is that once you are married he can put you on his insurance policy at work for health care. and put you down as beneficiary for his life insurance policy and get life insurance for you. as having a baby changes everything. check out his religious beliefs, and talk to his family and friends about his temperance level is cool and level headed or does he get angry at the least little thing he may seem nice now, as I have said a baby is a major change in life and needs both mother and father.

Answer 23

well my advice is to first get married, and second to enjoy your marriage for at least 2 years before you even think of having a baby. having a baby is no joke and can be stressful for your relationship if you haven't been married for at least that long.

and don't even think of bringing a baby into this world before you're marreid. that would suck for the child.

but pretty much it's an urge you get, a nestling instinct, and a fear that your clock is ticking and that you must have kids before it's too late.

also, some woman want to have kids younger so they're not 90 when their son or daughter graduates from college.

Answer 24

doing it for the best interest of the child, and are putting your interests secondly, after the child's. So, basiscally when you feel in your heart that you are committed to giving another human being a great future, and that you love the fact that the baby will be depending on you for at least 18 years. Children are wonderful. I have 2. Ever since They came along, my views of a lot of things change, and suddenly nothing in life matters more than they do.

Answer 25

Calling it "exciting" and "wanted by both" is a step in the right direction. My husband and I personally could never get to "yes," after years of struggling over the decision (beginning at about your age). We made our decision (no way, aren't cut out to have kids) years ago and are 100% happy to be childfree and traveling and enjoying our life. But if you are feeling that it is something you want, something you are willing to make lots of sacrifices for and give up your freedoms for, then go for it. The perfect, right time is never obvious, but it will work out as the years go on. Financial security is a concern, as is getting married first, but financial security isn't everything, and people can cut corners and make it on a shoestring budget when they have to. The bottom line is, it will work out. Good luck.

Answer 26

I don't think you are ever really ready for motherhood because you can never imagine what it will be like until you are actually going through it, but being a loving committed marriage and having at least some degree of financial stability is a good start. Good luck.

Answer 27

My advice is to keep working on your relationship, get married, and make sure you are both financially and emotionally stable enough to deal with the various problems that could pop up with a child.



The fact that you are scared is still a good thing -- having a child is a scary proposition! Just like when you get married, you'll be sure about it but you'll still be nervous! That isn't a bad thing, it is perfectly normal to be nervous and excited when taking a step that will change your life.



Congrats, and keep going on the good path!

Answer 28

You can never be ready to have a baby. When it happens then just prepare for the best. My only advice is spend as much time with you r boyfriend or souse now as possible because when a baby comes they will start to feel neglected. The only feelings that I had before I got pregnant was a feeling of anxiety. I really wanted to have a baby. We tried fro a while then I got pregnant a yr after when I least expected it.

Answer 29

Your feelings are common among young women and parents to be. At least you and he are thinking it over and not rushing into something without adding up the costs or leverages. You and your husband do well to sit and talk about your futures with your new child in the picture, and weigh everything out like, immediate costs and expenses for the newborns early years, neighborhoods and schools he/she will be attending early in life and the expenses involved within these years and, of course, the good ol' college fund you will be wanting to put away for that 'sparkle in your eyes'. People do well to think about these unforeseen occurrences like education, but also medical coverage and material necessities of their daily lives growing up like clothing, extra mouth(s) to feed, and a car or mode of transportation later in adolescent life. I'm glad to see someone out there is being responsible enough to bring this topic up for all to read and share. Good luck and just let time take its place in your mind and hearts and all will be accounted for!

Answer 30

One thing that a lot of people don't think about when they consider having a child is financial stability. Though having a loving relationship is, of course, an essential componant in rearing a child, financial stability is also very often overlooked. In other words:

Are you going to be able to afford everything you need for the baby before and after it is born? Are you going to be able to afford the medical expenses, immunizations, and doctor visits that will doubtlessly follow?



Another aspect people don't think of (and this is more for humor but still a valid point) will you be able to keep a baby alive? I've known some people with horrible luck with house plants and pets and everything they touch seems to die when left in thier care for extended periods of time... ... ..

Answer 31

i dont think that u are ever REALLY ready for a baby.... at least not as ready as we all would like to be. Obvioulsy u r old enough, u have a little more life experience than a lot of people in birthing age. talk it over with ur partner and see how long he wants to wait.

Answer 32

Get married first and make sure its a good and strong relationship before you bring a child into it. Ask yourself am I willing to give up whatever I need to for a child, other wise don't They require a lot of care, don't do it if its to make your relationship more binding because it won't work. All men have a tendency to feel left out when the little one arrives, because they require a lot of care.and remember your life will change no doubt about it.

Answer 33

You are a good age and being married is great.



Every mom is scared to have a baby or the labor part. Or scared they will screw up. As a mother you will make some mistakes even if you are a great mom.



You will have the instinct inside you of what to do when baby comes.

Answer 34

When you know you are doing it for the best interest of the child, and are putting your interests secondly, after the child's. So, basiscally when you feel in your heart that you are committed to giving another human being a great future, and that you love the fact that the baby will be depending on you for at least 18 years. Children are wonderful. I have 2. Ever since They came along, my views of a lot of things change, and suddenly nothing in life matters more than they do.

Answer 35

I was really scared when I got pregnant, I didn't feel ready. To be honest, I wasn't too intune with the idea of a baby until I felt her kick. Up until then she had just been some pain making me want pickes with kool aid and making me hate chicken. But when I felt her kick, I acknowledged that she was a little person that I made with the one I love and I knew that she needed me. Cheezy, but true.

Answer 36

It's a complex question that well deserves all of these answers and views. Just to pitch in with my fourpennyworth, no one just has "a baby", they bring a new person into the world who will be a combination of the two parents, that's who he or she will be, for life. So, is your partner the right person to contribute the other half of your baby? Do you respect and admire them such that you will feel glad when your baby shows similar characteristics?

Answer 37

Wow, good luck with that... my answer would be... at your age and if you are in a great relationship... never and then again always... as far as money goes... the more you make the more you spend... and life in general never gets any easier, you always want what you dont have and when you have it you want something else. I am a mother of 3 and married 8 yrs 32 yrs old. I speak from experience. Good luck! :)

Answer 38

Yes, it can b exciting. Can't u wait til u get married? Your body is made for that, you can handle it. When it's a better situation, mainly for you, then you'll b more relaxed about having a baby. U wouldn't want to get pregnant, have something happen, and end up having to go through it by yourself. It depends how your relationship is.

Answer 39

Get married first. Then enjoy that for a while. When a baby comes you won't have time to remember the man's name & you will fight about everything! And there will never be enough money, no matter how much you make so you'd better by the house & SUV before the stick changes colors.

Answer 40

You're ready to have a baby when you've become more responsible and are financially, emotionally, and mentally stable. Patience truly is a virtue because you have to be extremely patient with them. Kids are great, but they take a LOT of work. Just trust yourself. When you really feel it, you'll know.

Answer 41

take it from some one that was a father at the age of 17,,, you and your Significant. other should discuss this issue completely and make sure you both want to have one. You should also make sure that you can afford to have a child,, they are very expensive.i would also advise that you are married for a little while before you have a baby,, your only 27,, you still have plenty of time before you are not able to have children, take it slow,, one step at a time, wait till you both are sure that is what you want and economically stable enough to support a family with a child in it.

Answer 42

Well its not something we can tell you is right or wrong. first:

Are you going to be able to support it?

Make sure your relationship is going to last

Make sure you have a stable home

Make your possitive, a baby isnt something you can change your mind about.

Understand the risks of childbirth, and different methods

You dont need to be married, but make sure the dad isnt going to get scared and leave





well goodluck:) im a babysitter, im around babies 24 7 and i love them all to death.

Answer 43

When both you & your partner are physically, emoionally, spirituallly, & financially capable. An enough balance of all will do the trick, I guess. It's a lot to think but the main thing is if you & your partner are ready for the division of responsibility then go for it. Having a baby should be a blessing =) God Bless

Answer 44

You'll never feel completely ready. If you think you're in a good place, just do it! It's the kind of thing you just have to jump into with both feet, and you'll do your best when it happens!



Good luck!! :)

Answer 45

Having a baby IS scary! The fact that you realize that it is not all wine and roses demonstrates to me that you are giving this serious thought. That's good!

I think that to be able to give up all of yourself (at times!) for the benefit of someone else is a pretty good sign that you are ready for motherhood.Good Luck,Dear!

Answer 46

why wouldnt you feel scared.....all of us did, and it dosent end there. i was scared when my kids started walking, first day of school, and the biggy right now is i have a teenager!you are bringing in a little life that will be totally dependnt on you and your hubby, dont fear it. i thought about having kids but it was never planned, so i never had the bio clock ticking or anything like that.(first child at 21)was i scared...hell ya, so you are totally normal. and let me say, the first time you hold your baby, your whole life changes, you become a new person, a mom.... and it is great.

Answer 47

I knew for many years that I wasn't ready, and suddenly it stopped feeling so scary. I still do not have any children, but I will remarry soon and we both want children together. A few years ago an unplanned pregnancy would have devastated me, but today I know that I would be happy about it. I think when the time is right, you just know.

Answer 48

. You just wake up one day, and the only thing on your mind is baby clothes, babies, and baby names. And then one day, BAM, your pregnancy test comes out positive. And you feel the most vulnerable and beautiful feeling ever.



Being a mother is taking part in the miracle of life. I know when I had my son, I had never felt so beautiful as when he was in my womb.

Answer 49

Just to let you know, if you NEVER feel that urge, you're okay and perfectly normal too -- you're childfree. There are now 1 in 5 women in developed countries today who choose never to have children and who just aren't interested.



Basically, your 20s are the best time, or as good a time as any. Being ready to have a baby is so very personal and everyone is different. There are some people like me who never felt any urge to do it, to women who also just knew when the time is right.



Be prepared, though, because it's hard and tough and an uphill climb. I haven't had one, but I've kept my eyes and ears open all my life, and I'm a teacher.



You're far better off with at the very minimum a committed partner and best off with a husband, although nothing ensures that the man will stay around to help raise the child. Evolutionary history usually tells us that men stay around an average of 3-5 years to ensure that the child survives infancy, and then the males of most species leave. But of course humans are different, and if you are married to your soulmate, then you'll find a way to stay together, in spite of having a child.



I say "in spite of" quite deliberately, because you won't have that same level of happiness that you had before a child -- it'll just be different. But there will never again be significant "just us" time for about 20 years. If you do get "just us" time, you will have to carve it out, make time for it, plan it and fight to keep your "just us" time.



I agree with almost everyone here: just because you may be feeling the biological urge to have a child doesn't mean you should immediately. Give yourself a few years with your husband, because once a child comes, you will never have the same closeness again, or it will be a couple of decades until you do. Travel, explore, and most of all think about what you really want. I echo what another poster said and think of adopting. After all, we are 6,500,000,000 (billion) people now.



Just remember, having a kid is a crapshoot. Right now you cannot predict what kind of health your child will have. Think seriously and talk to both sets of parents before you begin trying to conceive. I personally could not imagine wanting a child KNOWING that it could have a strong chance of inheriting something really nasty, like a heart, musculo-skeletal or personality disorder. What kind of life is that? I think it's better to forgo having a child if there is significant disease present on one or both family trees.



Ultimately, though, having a child isn't always so rational. Our genes want us to procreate, even when doing so isn't always the best or wisest course of action. But we are human, and we do have the capacity to think and plan and strategize. We can do what makes sense for ourselves and for any life we bring into the world.



No matter what you decide, it's a very good thing to think about what you really want for your life. You're a better and more thoughtful person for considering the options; so many people just up and decide they want a baby and get pregnant without thinking about their future, their finances, or their living situation or their family health. Our society is certainly pro-natalist. You'll never be dissuaded from having a baby.



Ultimately you have to think: all the crappy diapers, the 2am feedings, lack of sleep, redistribution of money, extra expenses, possible genetic abnormalities, crap, pee, screaming and tantrums every hour of every day of every week of every month for SEVERAL YEARS -- is it worth it?



Yes, there are a few Kodak moments... but that child also has to sh-it and piss and throw up and test your limits. Only you know if it's worth it or not. But don't, whatever you do, please DO NOT romanticize pregnancy or parenting -- it's a long, hard slog filled every inch with challenges and tests and trials. Not worth it to me.



If you do decide to have a baby, talk extensively with your partner/husband. Decide if you only want one child or more. Decide jointly on how to discipline, both verbally and corporally. Talk about what you would do if your child were developmentally delayed... or extremely intellectually gifted. Both present unique challenges for parents and children.



Now if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go plan my next European vacation, check my stocks, go work out, and ask my husband when he wants sex. We don't have kids, by choice, and that 'road less traveled' is pretty sweet. I'm glad to be a teacher: happy to help teens, because I do like older, more independent kids, and because I don't like younger kids, and even happier to send them home to their parents at the end of the day! ;)





Glad you are thinking about it. Cheers, K

Answer 50

No one really knows just that if you know you can manage the child meaning time, responsibility also you won't really be ready unless you put stuff in place

Answer 51

Dont worry too about this because worries are the last thing you should do in pragnancy. Once its time will come you will automatically come to know. After all 7 billion babies are on the earth.

Answer 52

You know you are ready to have a baby when you are able to support that child financially every step of the way on your own, without the aid of welfare programs of any kind.

Answer 53

Molly : you know about pregnancy it takes 6 months I think

every mother expecting child must have sonogram required just remember this all ways relax take it easy dont rush ok? talk

with husband is an good advice

Answer 54

You know you are ready to have a baby when you can put someone else before you first, you can handle sleepless nights, continuous crying, can afford formula, diapers, doctor bills, clothing, etc. for your child, can give up your social life, and can love someone above all others including yourself.

Answer 55

You will always feel fear, because it is a scary thing. But you will know the time is right when you can no longer put off the little voice in your head that is saying "Hey...You want to be a mommy". Try looking into your Boyfriends eyes deeply stare into them and if you can see you children in his eyes you will know it is right.

Answer 56

No one is ever truly ready to take on the immense mental , physical and financial responsibility of raising a child



people have kids with a sense of blind faith

Answer 57

rst. Give your marriage a year at least before trying to have a baby. Marriage is a huge commitment and takes a lot of adju

Answer 58

i don't know if there is a right time, but i do think u instinctively know when u are ready. If u are doubting it then i don't think u are. Maybe hang on a while, It took me to 35 to be ready and Im now 7 weeks with first! good luck

Answer 59

I think if the idea of having a baby is scary to you then you aren't ready. You'll know when you feel ready, don't rush it.

Answer 60

tick tick tick tick tick

When you hear that, it's time.

Women have been having babies as long as there have been babies. It's the most normal thing you will be doing in your life. The scary part is being the 'soccer mom' that everyone else will want you to be.

Answer 61

When you will vomit in the morning,called morning sickness,that's the time you already conceived.Since that time onwards,you eat sufficient food with varieties of nutrients,not only for yourself but for the fetus as well.You have exercise and do not do very hard work or anything that gives stress..

Answer 62

honestly honey you are never ready.... It is very hard but in the end you just try to do your best. No matter how many mistakes you make your child will love you regardless, The first baby is a big experiment really! and Regardless of how hard it gets... the love of that child is well worth the hard times!

Answer 63

You know when you're comfortable in your relationship and comfortable in your place in life. Never wait until you are "financially ready" because nobody ever is. Babies make your day worth it. It doesn't matter how bad your day has been - gazing into your baby's eyes makes everything better.

Answer 64

well,i can understand you being scared but that feeling will go away when and if you do concieve,as the time goes on and when the baby arrive you'll be so, so filled with joy and ahh you'll feel very,very proud of yourself!!! the scaredness will disappear.

Answer 65

First of all, make sure you are maried, that is always the best way! Secondly when you feel you are ready to take care of another human being. And thirdly make sure you have the money!

Answer 66

We were married in Jan/03 stopped birth control in May and was pg in Aug. You just seemed to know when you are ready.

It sure helped holding my niece for the first time.

Answer 67

As long as you feel responsible and stable enough to support a new life, then I gues it is time to have a new baby.

Answer 68

You will never be "ready" to have a baby. Just have one and enjoy the ride!

Answer 69

You should have a baby as soon as possible if you're both commited. They dont only lighten your life but those around you too.

Answer 70

You just know when you see a baby, and a tingling sensation runs through you. That's what happened to me. I'd at least wait till you have a ring on your finger though..LOL!

Answer 71

the right time and u completely ready for the responsibility and of course of you married.

Answer 72

I not sure if anyone really knows when they are ready, but if you are looking at marrage in the next year i would wait till then

Answer 73

Once your water breaks and contractions are getting stronger and closer together, you are pretty much ready.

Answer 74

When you are married (and your relationship is strong), financially stable, are living in a good environment (less stress), you'll know when your ready.

Answer 75

I guess you know you are ready when you know you can support the baby finacially and also when you know you are ready to start your own family and be the mother you can be.

Answer 76

Well, when you think the time is right I guess, well, when you both decide you want a baby.

Answer 77

yes. ull know when ur ready. its a comon instinct of a woman

just make sure its ok with him.

but dont shoot it out, but after u get married, gradua;;y bring up the subject

Answer 78

When my ego, "my genes are so important that they must be passed on" overtakes my common sense, "this world has 5 billion people???"



Then I know its time to sow my seed.

Answer 79

You just do! But the real question is are you ready to be a mother? There is a difference.

Answer 80

wait until a while after you are married and you are stable: financially and as a married couple. once your doubts are gone you are ready

Answer 81

well 1st get married .then u know when u r ready to hav a baby . its a natural thing

Answer 82

Financially speaking, if you are financially stable (ie. having permanent job with all the benefits, including maternity).

Answer 83

You know you're ready to have a baby when your water breaks...other than that, it's all academic.

Answer 84

yeah here is a real great advise get married frist then have one waiting tell your married is what every one needs to do like haveing sex wait tell your married is what i think is best to do that way you can get a baby and not sin

Answer 85

You are emotionally mature and stable, you are in a loving, stable relationship, you can afford it, and you and your partner agree.

Answer 86

after your married and finacially settled(enough money to support the baby)

Answer 87

Get married first then the rest will follow.

Answer 88

I don't know if you can actually be ready for a baby.

But you probably know when you want one.

Answer 89

When you are #2,when you WANT to make the child's life better then your own, when you are WILLING to make the sacrifices to make it so, then you at least have the right mind set

Answer 90

I'd wait until you're married, and you should be financially ready for it. When you meet both those criteria...your ready.

Answer 91

watch the end of the 3rd season and the first of the 4th season of King Of Queens and you will know.

Answer 92

your water will break as well contractions will start this is the first step of labor. good luck and god bless you on you and the baby soon to be. ?

Answer 93

dont worry you would be fine..just have faith in God he said "we should go out and mutiply" and that my dear i see you doing with all happiness..



I would pray for you.. God bless

Answer 94

When in doubt, don't.

Answer 95

Your — female — body will tell... Listen to Your body.

Answer 96

when ur emotionally & finacially sicure & u have enough time for ur child, weither itz off work or study.

Answer 97

If I knew that I would know the meaning of life.

Answer 98

When you have the money to send the to college.

Answer 99

Get married first.

Answer 100

It won't be something you question,you will feel it in your heart.

Answer 101

If you have the $, the time, and the space

Answer 102

When the head is sticking out.

Answer 103

If you have to ask then you're not ready:)

Answer 104

you get contractions very often, sweat and pain

Answer 105

Only you will know. Pray and ask God.

Answer 106

money never hurts as kids are expensive

Answer 107

DON'T HAVE KIDS!!!!! there are already way too many people on earth and adding more won't help! I am begging you to adopt! You will love that child just the same! Please adopt.

Answer 108

When you have your first period.

Answer 109

fart