11 weeks pregnant and aborting.?

Question

Monday morning I am going in to have an abortion. I am really scared that its going to be painful and scary. I am miserable that I have to do this, but it is truly the only way. My very christian family is all mad at me for getting pregnant out of marriage and my fiance is upset because last year we went and got a vasectomy and I was faithful to my pill.

I have now left my fiance because of some very curl things that he said to me after he found out. One being I would rather you kill yourself then have my baby. Yes we where due to be married and that has now been stopped. I just cant bring this child into the world and have my family resent me, my exfinace resent me and have no support through a pregnancy and raising it. I am a full time college student and I dont have a job, he has been supporting me. I dont know what else to do.

The abortion is my first choice. I know I am going to get a bashing here, but I was not irresponsible we did everything to prevent this from happening in short of using condoms, but the doctors said after a year I didnt even need to be on birth control. But I still was. I feel no attachment to this pregnancy, its hard and painful and even worse because I dont want it.

Anyways, can someone please give me a run down on whats going to happen on monday ?? Has anyone else gone through this??

Answer 1

you say you are a christian family... look into the bible and you will see that 1 of the ten commandmants is "thou shalt not kill"



how can you say you have a very christian family when they are prepared to allow you to commit one of the greatest sins in the bible.



I am sorry but i am christian and i know that abortion is wrong. Yes there are circumstances that im sure the christian religion would accept but fearing rejection from your family is not 1 of them.



If you are a true christian then seek advise from your church, i am sure that your church leader will explain to you that what you are doing is wrong in the eyes of the church as churches do not condown abortion and any church that does well is not a faith church.



I understand that you are in a predicament and that you don't want to be alone but there are other options out there.



I understand you took precautions but seriously sex before marraige is well not very christian is it...

Answer 2

You're over a quater of the way now you might as well go ahead and give your baby up for adoption... but I'm only speaking from experience.



I had an abortion when I was 16, I didn't know how far gone I was until I had a scan, I was told I was 13 weeks and that it was the size of a fullstop .



So I thought it would be ok and continued on to have the abortion.



I had a tablet to kill the baby first, and then I had an operation, They basically suck the baby out using a vaccum, ripping off it's limbs and then crushing the head. I feel physically sick knowing I did that to my own child. However at the time, I just did not have a clue there was a developed baby in there!



Don't listen to what anyone else says, if you want your baby then have your baby! I've just found out I'm pregnant again, and my daughter is only 7 months old, I'm terrified but I know I can't abort again after last time!!



The emotional effects afterwards are worse than the physical pain. I really don't reccomend it, but it's your body and your choice, so good luck either way, but I won't lie it is painful for about a week afterwards.



Please think about this first, you need to be certain it's what you want, else it WILL mess your head up. If you have any questions at all - Feel free to email me, I'm not judging you. xx

Answer 3

I personally believe that this is a womans own choice but, it doesn't sound like you are making the choice for logical reasons. I am not a religous person but I know that doesn't sound like a very religious family you have either. You are better off without your fiance, he sounds like a selfish jerk it sounds like you need this baby to have someone love you unconditionally, of course that is no reason to keep a baby either but I can tell you there are alot of people out there that can't have children and would love that baby more than it could possibly imagine. You shouldn't abort a baby so people aren't mad at you anymore, most people get over it, if you were engaged to be married you are obviously an adult so you aren't some teenager who is going to be put out onto the street for getting pregnant. If you are worried about money, whether your fiance wants it or not he will have a financial responsibilty to this baby. Just some things to think about.

Answer 4

Dear 11 weeks pregnant,



I've known many women who have gotten abortions. I am a strong Christian, and have always had a heart for women such as yourself who have been abandoned by their men and their own families, because nature took it's course. I don't judge you for getting pregnant before marriage, nor do I take anything your family or fiance says as being a reflection of truth.



The truth of the matter is, if you get rid of your baby, then you are throwing away a part of yourself. You must ask yourself what is more important, how other people perceive you, and how easy your own life is: to what is right?



I know you say you have no connection, I know you say you don't want it....but aborting doesn't change that you have a baby. It's just ignoring it. Not believing in or choosing to discontinue something, doesn't mean you can change what happened, or your choices. Your pregnancy is a reflection of your choice, that you chose to have sex.



Don't listen to your family, because it looks like they're just more worried about themselves, rather then what's going on with you (no matter what bullshit they might tell you).



Once you get rid of a life, you can never get it back. I know women who have had abortions and can't get pregnant afterwords when they want to have a baby with their husband. I have someone in my family who got pregnant and had a baby and is still single. It changes your life, but on the other hand, I look at her and see a very strong person. Having a baby is never easy or simple or what it's made out to be, having kids is something where you just can't plan everyone's course in life (did you plan to get pregnant for example?), unexpected things can always be expected to happen. So don't have this abortion. Do everything in your power, cry out with everything you have in your soul to still survive. Because if you do this, you're killing a part of yourself.



.P.S. Aborting usually has severe after affects (weather mental, physical or spiritual)...it's not a pleasant thing to do even if you don't believe it's wrong.

Answer 5

you will end up absolutely hating your family becuase of this. No matter what you are thinking right now you CAN do this. your hormones are all over the place, dont make any hasty decisions. It says in the bible very very clearly that abortion is wrong and equal in the eyes of the lord as murder. You WILL regret this if you go ahead with the abortion it wil be the biggest regret of your life. What will you tell your furture children about their little sister or brother that you killed because you didnt feel that the situation that it was concieved was perfect? Through the vasectomy and pill that child was still concieved, its a modern miracle it was something that was meant to happen.Your family will calm down and i promise you when that baby comes and they see him/her they will be overjoyed. Give your partner time to settle down and let his head process the news. i am begging you not to get an abortion. yes times will be difficult but it will all be worth it i swear

Answer 6

If a woman elects to have a surgical procedure, she’ll go through the basic clinic steps (ultrasound, counseling, labwork, payment, etc) and then meet with a doctor. She’ll lay on her back as if she was at a GYN appointment, with her legs in stirrups (that awkward position women know too well). The clinician will perform a pelvic exam, and if the woman is getting any kind of sedation (whether it’s general anesthesia or conscious sedation), it will likely be administered at this time, maybe through a vein in her arm or through her mouth. The clinician will insert a speculum into her vagina to keep it open and so that s/he can see the patient’s cervix. If she is getting local anesthesia, the doctor will administer it into her cervix, which can feel like 10 seconds of a burning sensation. A canula, which is a straw-like tube, is inserted through her vagina, through her cervix, and into her uterus, and the pregnancy is removed. The pregnancy is removed by suction, which, in the first trimester, usually takes somewhere between two and seven minutes and can feel like intense period cramps.



Let it be known that when I was 18 I chose to give my daughter up for adoption. But if i got pregnant again (and I have been with my husband for 15 years) I would have an abortion.

Answer 7

I had an abortion at 6 weeks. I can't speak for 11 weeks, but if it's anything like mine, you will be fine. It's not painful as much as uncomfortable, sort of like a gyno exam. You will get meds for the pain before and after the procedure. The whole procedure takes about 5 minutes, and if the doctor you have was like mine, you'll go to a re-coop room until you're ready to go home. Be sure to have someone drive you, because most clinics won't let you drive home on the meds. Also, before the procedure, prepare to answer a bunch of questions making sure this is what you really want to do, and prepare to hear a list of alternatives.



You'll be fine. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 8

You know it takes two , and this baby is both responsibility's, & even tho you were taking precaution these things do happen.if your b.f. wants to treat you like this the dump him if you would like to raise this baby, You can get aid in raising this baby.As far as your parents if they feel the same then distance your self from them maybe they will turn back & want to be gran parents, either way this is your baby, no on has the right to take that from you. This is alittle life, please don't abort. I would take it.I have a foster home. Please think very serious bout this, it will haunt you the rest of your life.My husband & I lost our baby thru miscarriage years ago & it left a big hole in our heart, so please think very serious about this. You have a heart ,this is a little life, if you don"t want it , someone else does.Good luck.You may e-mail me.

Answer 9

ignore the first answer - no-one wants to hear that!!!! Altho i am against abortions every woman has there own mind - BUT if you are having an abortion just because you dont want your family to hate you then that isnt a very good reason - they may b very cross and dissapointed now but they cant hate the baby once he/she is born - unlikely. Anyway thing very long and hard about this but the longer you leave it the harder and more painful it wil be!

Answer 10

I will not bash you. It is ultimately your decision and yours alone. But abortion is not the only way. I do not personally believe in abortion but that is my belief. But there is adoption. You say you have a very christian family? again not to judge but do they not realize you are carrying one of gods children. just because the Child was out of wedlock does not mean that child should be condemned. I strongly recommend you wait and look into adoption. I had a friend who had an abortion and to this day she says she feels like a murderer. And her circumstances were drastically different she was raped and got pregnant. And she still wishes she had carried the child and given it up for adoption since the child had made no mistake and done no wrong to be punished.

Answer 11

And you waited 11 weeks, till it was a properly formed little person that could move its tiny arms and legs to decide this did you?



What's going to happen is your baby will be killed, probably by a potassium injection straight into his or her heart, then your cervix forced open and a huge suction will suck the corpse out of your body.



Photo of an 11 week old foetus on u/s:

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.monashultrasound.com.au/images/profile_11weeks.jpg&imgrefurl=http://qwickstep.com/search/ultrasound-at-11-weeks.html&usg=__pxzVml104mZW-fmC3SiIqz_9K08=&h=311&w=450&sz=22&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=WTWRXy_kTayrIM:&tbnh=128&tbnw=166&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dultrasound%2B11%2Bweeks%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-gb:IE-SearchBox%26rlz%3D1I7ACAW_en___GB334%26biw%3D1345%26bih%3D543%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=1019&ei=6AZxTPK-OsqF4QbLrYXeCA&oei=6AZxTPK-OsqF4QbLrYXeCA&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&tx=119&ty=64

Don't tell me that's just a blob of cells. It's a tiny, perfectly formed human being.