How should I handle these types of comments?

Question

I'm 31 1/2 weeks pregnant, and I'm getting a lot of annoying comments - from complete strangers! A typical conversation goes like this:
"Are you having twins? You're HUGE!"
"No, it's just one in there."
"Then you must be due any day now!"
"Not quite... I'm due in March."
The stranger then proceeds to touch my belly and ask if the baby is kicking right now. This happened three times yesterday! This is a picture, I really don't think I'm overly big for how far along I am:

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r254/lucygoosey1721/MyPicture-1-1.jpg

How do I...
a.) Handle these comments?
b.) Prevent these comments from happening in the future?
c.) Keep them from touching my belly?

Thanks,
Lucy

Answer 1

I got that ALL the time. At first it was hard, but then I realized who cares! You can't prevent these comments from happening, but remember...it's your body! Who needs to like it but you and your hubby?? Women carry differently, gain different amounts of weight, start off at different weight and have different size babies! Some people are just ignorant. As far as touching you, best thing to do is to stay NO. Again, it's your body! If they walked up to a normal women and touched her stomach they could probably have the cops called, so your no different. Stand up for yourself and say it politely, but "Please do not touch me, it makes me uncomfortable". Walk away if they start to rant or anything. You deserve respect and privacy like every other person in this world. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

It looks like you have a small frame anyways. So that makes you look pretty big. My sister was the same way. She was a size 0 when she has her first daughter and looked like she swallowed an over filled beach ball. Unfortunatly theres not much you can do about the people making comments. We all get them, as for the belly touching I think that also happens to everyone. It happened to me with all pregnancies. I just would take a step or two back when I saw the hand coming and just tell the person I dont know you please dont touch my stomach. Some people understood some people looked at me like I just told them to go to hell. As for dealing with it, you just have to learn to let it roll off. I had people tell me that I was downright fat. I was also 38 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. Of course it upset me, but I just let it go. These are probably people you'll never see again and if you do who cares. In a couple months you'll have the baby in your arms and everything will be alright.

Answer 3

Great question. I am scared of that. Ha I'm only 9 weeks too. Well I had a friend who had the same problem. She was quite big like yourself. If your annoied of answering those questions. You can ignore them, come on you don't know them. Or you can politely say, "I'm sorry I'm in a hurry" and leave. Make an excuse. So you don't have to go through that. You can't prevent them. It's human nature to be like "Oh gawd your big" or something like that. People love seeing pregnant women. There is something beautiful about it!! Man tell them you don't like to be touched. It's rude for people to be grubbing at you. They should at least ASK! I am sorry about all this. Good luck, and have a safe and healthy pregnancy.





Baby Due - (08-26-2007)

Answer 4

You look big because you have a small frame. Just tell the truth about how you feel. You can't prevent people from asking. But when they ask about you if you are having twins just say. "No I am due in March and please don't touch my belly I don't like that" or something like that. So that way you get it all out ant they don't have to ask you 50 million questions and touch you. Who cares if strangers find that offenses. THEY ARE STRANGERS...LOL... which means you will never see them again. I feel people should respect your wishes. If they know up front how you feel then it won't happen. But if they ignore that then you have the right to rude right back to them and tell them stop to talking to you. =) Congrats

Answer 5

I feel for you I did have twins and I did get a lot of the same only starting @ 6 mons! you cant do much with the coments but I would really put my foot down on the touching you thing I would try to be polite first then if that did not work I would resort to a little more firmness.

Answer 6

First off I must say your belly is quite big...I have had 2 babies so far and both were 9 lbs,u look how I looked and people told me all the time how big i was,how many moths etc...I would say your baby is going to be pretty big,u look very petite yourself though..To the rude comments,when they are talking to u just walk away and act like u are in a hurry..I dont really like when people stop me either and talk my ear off about how georgeous my kids are,its time consuming and annoying at times..Just try to avoid it,when they ask questions kinda push it like ur not interested...answer yes or no and dont really make eye contact,this will give them the hint..I mean if u are too nice about it they will keep hounding you..Good Luck and congrats on the baby! btw,are u having a girl? =)

Answer 7

Im due in March and get comments like that. I havent gotten the twins comment yet though. Although I did get that comment when I was pregnant with my third son. Some one asked me if I was having twins and I said no, and then they just said, wow your huge. So I just went home and cried and cried and my husband had no idea why I was so upset about that..lol. I dont know how to handle them, except to just ignore them, or say, everyone is different, some are bigger than others and some are smaller. It doesnt mean you are having twins!

Answer 8

I think it looks like you were probably pretty small before you got pregnant, and sometimes that just makes the belly more pronounced. Some people just don't understand personal space and think a pregnant belly is public domain. Next time some one touches you, touch thier belly and ask when they are due ;)

Answer 9

Smile and walk away.

I always hate it when a stranger does these things.

You are no bigger than my first pregnancy and now on my second (4 months along) and people will tell me it looks like I am having triplets. I let no one touch me in public and if they won't take a hint and try to follow me, I'll tell them that They need to back off please.

There are a lot of sick people out there right now. Some who will stalk you, Buy a can of mace and try not to go anywhere alone, hon. Please don't put your face on the net, you can't trust anyone.

You are normal and a pretty mommy-to-be. Be wary of strangers. Be on guard.

Answer 10

Get a shirt that says "HANDS OFF!" and carry a bat. I'm the type of person that doesn't appreciate people who think they can just walk up to me and touch my belly, when people would come up and ask me how far along I was I would tell them I wasn't pregnant and start crying. It was so fun turning the tables on people like that. Goodluck hun the bigger you get the worse it gets, it's really a part of pregnancy for every woman I think.

Answer 11

I think that you look so good!!! You probably come off as looking bigger because you have such a small build. I dont think that you will ever stop the coments. Yes as rude as it is, you just have to ignore them and walk away. I wouldnt let strangers get close enough to touch me!! If they did just say hey that is rude and you need to back off! I hope that everything gets better for you! Keep your head up, you really do look great!!

Answer 12

Most people don't want to be racist. Most people are somewhat prejudiced, it is unavoidable.*But they don't realize it.* We grow up in an environment dominated by our own particular culture and we naturally prefer it. I can see how these comments would be offensive. I would think you have to take these comments with some salt. People are generally ready to be open minded in the UK and USA, so they probably aren't intentionally being offensive. EDIT I re-read the questions and realized these are blatant racial statements. Anyone saying these things is definitely either fooling himself or lying to you.

Answer 13

1. Everyone carries their pregnancy differently, perhaps you look bigger because you are such a petite thing to begin with. (I think you look great)...

2. Ignore the negativity. People are going to say whatever they want and most don't think before they speak.

3. Just tell them that it makes you feel uncomfortable and that the baby just moves around so much that it hurts when people touch your belly.



Women who have a small frame tend to look bigger than others, you are fine, and if your baby is bigger than average good for you.

My children were all over 9lb. and I loved it

Answer 14

It seems to me the reason you look big is because you have a small frame and your nothing but tummy. Seroiusly don't let other people bother you their just other people. Don't know how you could prevent comments from coming but maybe you could wear a looser top. And to keep them from touching you try to keep your distance. You are very beautiful and congrats on your baby!

Answer 15

Okay, yes you are big but it's obvious that it's because you are petite.



A) ignore them, don't respond.

B) you can't

C) tell them you don't want people you don't know touching you



I saw a shirt that said unless you put the bump there, keep your hands off. Maybe you could just by 7 of those and wear them everyday? LOL

Answer 16

Stare them dead in the eye and say " dont touch me' you have to be very firm because its your body and no one has the right to touch you. As for the "your so big" comments, just give them a nasty smile and say" Aww Gee, thats just what i LOVE to hear", make them feel like the idiots that they are!

Answer 17

when they start to say something change the subject real quick if a stranger wants to touch you tell them not to its your belly stick up for it and just act like you didnt hear them works sometimes hope that helps good luck

Answer 18

When people ask you, just tell them that "it's just one, but that is a very rude thing for you to ask me" and they'll probably leave you alone. If they touch your stomach, you have every right to tell them to keep their hands to themselves. But you are gorgeous, enjoy the last couple month of your pregnancy!

Answer 19

I have to say u are pretty big, but don't take the comments to heart be proud u can produce a healthy big baby

Answer 20

Touch their belly back and ask when their due!! I do agree that it`s your small frame that makes you look big but don`t let it bother you..Good Luck and congrats!!

Answer 21

Handle them with a grain of salt. You can do it!



a.) Say "Oh, well, that isn't nice to say." As if you were reprimanding them for the childish comment they just made.

b.) Not a lot you can do about that!

c.) Again, use a childish reprimand. Politely push their hand off of you and say "Oh, please don't touch me."

Answer 22

hey you look beautiful. don't let these people hurt your feelings by there stupid comments. just be happy. i do not like for people to touch my belly either so just tell them what you have been and do not worry.

Answer 23

The problem is, being a decent person, you feel the need to be nice to these clods. You may not be able to stop their inconsiderate comments, but you sure as he11 don't have to be nice to them! Tell them, "I don't know you, please keep your hands to yourself!"

Answer 24

people are rude and just dont care on how they act it is kinda sad

but you know what just think you have a little miricale inside of you and who cares what people think

Answer 25

You can't enjoy the love and you really is big its so cute!!!

Answer 26

Just say thanks and keep on walking! Don't worry about what other people say.

Answer 27

u are pretty big