Pregnant and the dad is MIA, what to do?

Question

Ok I will explain this... I dated this guy for a good while, and watched his kid for him all the time. I finally got a night job and he kicked me out, freaking out about me not being home when he was working (because it was the first time I didn't watch his son). He then took a female out on dates immediately (which clues me in that YES he cheated, and YES he kicked me out to make room for this slut). I had no where to go, and couldn't bring my items or kids' cat (I have 2 kids), he told me if I needed to leave my stuff there it's ok (heck he still has one of his ex's stuff from 2 years ago)! I guess he threw my stuff out and renamed MY kids' cat ASAP... So my kids pics are gone and my phone with vids of my kids and pics etc... and my dead grandma's jewelry and other meaningful stuff.

So I am homeless and I called him up a few weeks later because I found out I am preggerz. (4 months at that point). He denies it and acts really mean. So I left him alone, he saw me walking one day and pulled over to "talk" (and be an asshole), and I told him if it's going to be like that I am not talking to him, so he acted decent (I was 5 months preggerz at this point)... so we talked and he felt my stomach and realized YEAH I am preggerz... he called into work and said all these EMPTY promises (which I held NO heed in and I didn't really talk much)... by the end of it all I found out he threw all my stuff out and demanded he get my cds with my kids' pics and my phone (sd card) and try to get the rest back (he promised to talk to me with in 2 days)... another words knock on every door and put ads out EVERYWHERE... well needless to say he did nothing, and went back to being an asshole right away. Well it's been 2 months.

So I was walking and some guy was stalking me and was saying down to **** and stalked me a long ways, I was by my ex's door and went there... he was telling me this isn't a safe haven and acting like a real asshole!

He has gone to 0 appointments (which I have no one who can take me...) I have a lot of medical stuff that's going wrong during this pregnancy.


So basically yes I am eternally bitter, and will ALWAYS have this in my mind when dealing with him, any hesitation is too much, but I figured I could give him a couple days since it's a lot... but now I am on the don't **** with me mode... I am keeping him blocked on fb, and anyone who asks about my pregnancy that knows him I am honest with, and I tell them yeah it's carson's baby. When they ask more I tell them more... he has told me not to talk to anyone of his friends/family... I told him I am just telling the truth (another words don't like it don't do it)... and as for family that's this little girls' family so I WILL talk to them if they want to be involved in this baby girls' life...

So my questions are...

1) how the hell do I deal with him when he does come around... yeah he'll come around, but I don't want him to even talk to me... let alone try to get back together... I am sure he is just ******* his time off as if I will take him back when he pleases to be focused (that'll NEVER happen... the second he paid ANY attention to ANY female I wiped my hands of him even as a friend)

2) should I even let him come to the birth, or what? I am so pissed now that I don't know what to do with him.

3) What things need to be said on my end, yes I bitched him out about not coming to the appointments over those bitches and sluts and told him to either STOP working with them and act like their asses are dead and tell them off or leave me the **** alone if they are in his life AT ALL!

4) When he comes around do I sit and not talk and just hear his empty promise speach again, or tell him what to do to get to whatever level of civility...

(and if I have to tell him, then it won't mean anything, because he is only doing what I say, not what he feels... if it isn't him doing because he wants to it's tainted... it's like me giving me, not him stepping up.)

Don't ask questions please, just tell me what you think I should do... yeah stop being a *****... blah blah blah... you know what your not the one getting tested for cancer during pregnancy... and having to go into the ER by ambulance, and be in CONSTANT pain... alone. So no judging my crabbiness.

Answer 1

1. Since you guys are broke up you don't have a right to say anything about his romantic life.



2. That's your call. If you don't want him there he doesn't have to be there.



3. If you are in the U.S. than you need to decide whether to have him sign his rights as a father away, which could affect any government programs you qualify for, or whether to let him keep his rights as a father. If he keeps them than he is responsible for child support, and you could fight for custody later on.



4. Consult with social services to find out what you are entitled to and instead of letting him give you empty promises, hit him up with paperwork. Promises are useless. If it is in writing it is able to go to court and tell the truth.

Answer 2

What to do? I think you should give up this baby for adoption. That way, you're never connected to this guy again, and you can focus on raising the children you already have. Also, this child won't be homeless and will have a mother and father who very much want a child.



As to this guy, I would never talk to him again. He's everything you called him and more. He is not trustworthy. You can't believe a word he says. So yeah, dump him and never see him again.

Answer 3

1- if your worried about him coming around you can get a dvo (domestic violence order) or an avo (apprehensive violence order) that way if he comes near you hel be arrested



2- i would say no - you dont need that kinda stress during labour trust me, youll want supportive ppl there



3- not quite sure what you mean by the second question, but i would tell him you dont want anything to do with him, hes no longer a part of your life and you owe him nothing



4- you have the choice not to talk to him, this guy sounds like a tosser and honestly not worth taking the time for, just focus on your self and the baby theres no point in listening to what he has to say since hes already proven its a load of crap