I got pregnant with my ex and he refuses to contribute yet wants rights.?

Question

I got pregnant with my ex. I’m 27 and About 16 weeks at the moment with my first pregnancy. My ex is 35. He’s not a good partner and not supportive of my needs during the pregnancy. He is very selfish and has a hard time feeling any empathy for me like one night I felt very sick with morning sickness and he tried to have sex with me and when I said no I didn’t feel well he just turned around and started jerking off and said “there’s no reason for the both of us to be miserable”. He acts like a jerk and doesn’t wanna join any family dinners or events or meet and talk to my family. Even though he claims he wants to be together and be a family and is very thrilled for the baby. He is even threatening court and fighting for custody when we get into arguements. Yet he doesn’t wanna contribute to any part of the pregnancy. He doesn’t come to doc apts, he doesn’t help financially, and he gives no moral support. He just causes me stress constantly and argues with me. I don’t want him part of our lives but he demands rights to his baby and I don’t think it’s fair for him to skate by and help with nothing during my pregnancy and then when the baby is born I just hand my child over to him as if he deserves any part of my baby. What can I do besides move out of state?

Answer 1

Go to court and file a complaint

Answer 2

Your State determines his rights, and obligations. File a claim, and get a Court ruling before you deliver, and seek delivery costs as his burden, too. Now, what's the chance you will go on the pill, and have sex without the possibility of conceiving again. Yes, I can chat away, but I trust the girl I'm with having birth control, 'cause I know I'm potent, and shoot huge loads, and that makes a condom worthless, 'cause it tends to come off during withdrawal from so much semen, and loss of friction.

Answer 3

I say move out of state and don’t put his name on the birth certificate. If you stay in the same state, still move away from him so he doesn’t know where you live and when you give birth don’t announce it on social media. Don’t tell him you’re going to give birth. When you sign the birth certificate information make the baby’s father unknown so even if he tries to fight for the baby he’ll have to pay a ton of money just to prove it’s his before he even has a right to fight for the baby.

If you move out of state the baby has to be born out of state. Moving out of state and not putting his name on the birth certificate would guarantee he won’t be able to be part of his life. It takes too much money. He’d have to keep paying for flights hotels etc.. every time there is court.

Answer 4

I agree with the others. There's one thing that confuses me: why are you still with him if he's your ex?



He doesn't have to contribute anything during the pregnancy. After the baby is born, you can have him brought to court and get child support. It may not be much. He can see the baby whether he supports it or not.

Answer 5

If it's not too late where you live, you could have an abortion. Seriously, having a baby with a loser is a majorly bad idea.

Answer 6

He has rights to the baby, he doesn't need to demand them. They are automatic as the father. Even moving out of state doesn't help. He is the father. He has exactly the same rights you do as the mother.

Answer 7

Hire a lawyer and go to court yourself. In cases like this, a judge will likely award some kind of joint custody as well as mandate child support for the child.

Answer 8

This is also HIS BABY. He has full legal rights to visit HIS BABY. It’s YOUR pregnancy. He isn’t legally obligated to help you one dime until child support papers are served. That’s how it works, honey. I’m not sure why are you with this clod. But you can’t deny him visits with his child.

Answer 9

That really isn't fair, you shouldn't put up with it, and when he tries to take custody for them you can point out he has done nothing for you, during the pregnancy and get evidence behind everything he does, if he doesn't want to help you at all, he doesn't deserve to be around, he is using the baby to blackmail you and that is the lowest move he can do. You need to get rid of him, he isn't good for you. He isn't doing anything so you need to leave and disappear, he doesn't deserve the baby in any way shape or form, every woman needs help during there pregnancy, trust me my girlfriend needs help too, financially and others, so he needs to start contributing if he wants anything to do with the baby.

Answer 10

You have conceded defeat before the battle. A court will award you custody and grant him visitation rights if appropriate. He will also have to contribute financially towards the child's upbringing. You need to see a lawyer that specialises in matrimonial law. Don't get all uptight. You are one of many millions in this position.

Answer 11

You have a reason why you broke up with him. Now, you're pregnant with his baby. I don't know which country you're in, but he can take you to court and make your life miserable. Your house will be enough to sustain your expenses to cover everything you will lose during the court battle.



Don't use the baby as a pawn to compensate for your pain or whatever that is you're trying to accomplish against the father. That baby will become a teenager then an adult and will ask you questions.



Now, I can tell you that my baby is almost an adult and has been inquiring about her father who decided to ditch her when I won the full custody which didn't deny his rights to his child, but he opted not to visit. Anyhow, I gave all his information. Now, he will be the one gets to explain why he decided to ignore her for a long time. I have nothing to explain to her. I've been raising her alone and not an ounce spoke ill about her father. He regretted what he did because he was angry at me.

Answer 12

When a single woman who has never been married to the child's father gives birth, she is legally presumed to have full and complete custody and control of the child. If the man wants to pursue his parental rights, he must first have a DNA test that proves that he is the biological father. Of course, if the DNA test proves his paternity, that opens the door for the mother to sue him for child support payments.



If he's your "ex", why are you still sleeping in the same bed with him? Why would you care if he doesn't want to join in family dinners and talk to your family? Why would he want to and why would you want him to -- he's your "ex", remember.



It's completely unnecessary for him to accompany you to doctor visits, and there's no reason for you to expect him to do so. Most men NEVER accompany their wife or girlfriend to routine prenatal appointments. What's the point? .. he would have to stay out in the Waiting Room the entire time you're in with the doctor, and hope to find a not too out-of-date magazine to read. You're 27 years old, and you're certainly capable of getting yourself to a doctor's appointment. You don't need him to tag along.

Answer 13

You deal with it and be a good mother. No one told YOU to lay down and have unprotected sex with him. These problems didn’t just appear out of nowhere. They were obviously there before you decided to get pregnant. I have no sympathy for you. You’re 16 weeks so it’s not too late to get an abortion. That would be the best choice because it looks like this child doesn’t stand a chance with both of you being his/her parents

Answer 14

Bet you wish you could have that night all over again. You made your choice now deal with it. Think woman, there was a reason why you guys broke up in the first place and I'm sure it was a good reason. He just pumped you and gave you a ball and chain on your ankle, now you'll be there when he feels the need to bust onbe there when he wants to nut. Now it's hard for you to leave the house dumbass. I got no sympathy for stupidity.

Answer 15

You won't be able to deny him all access to his child, not without proving he's unfit. However, consider the very real possibility that he's making all these threats about taking you to court and getting joint custody because he wants to scare you and keep you under his thumb. When the baby actually arrives, he'll probably realize real quick that babies are a lot of work and the kinda cramp the style of single dudes trying to get some action, so he'll quite likely decide he's happy with his every-other-weekend (or less) and leaving the rest of the responsibility to you.



Unfortunately he cannot be made to pay for any of your medical bills or expenses while you're still pregnant or related to the delivery. But once baby arrives, that's when you can slap him with a child support suit. You need to talk to a family law attorney ASAP, and in the meantime document EVERY threat and EVERY foul thing he says about you, the baby, or your pregnancy. Saved emails, texts, and voicemails are best, but notes about conversations with date and time can help, too. That documentation may be the ammo for a court hearing down the line.

Answer 16

How is it that you decided to have a child with him -- and then only after you were pregnant did you suddenly notice that he's a jerk? And if he's your ex, how are you in situations where he could be pushing for sex?



Once baby is born you will get a lawyer and arrange for child support and visitation. (No court will give him full custody unless you are proven a danger to the child.) Until then, it seems that you would be best served by not being around him at all.

Answer 17

You will need to go to court when the child is born to set up child support and a visitation schedule.

Answer 18

I just received a promotion at work that I’ve been kicking *** to get. I’ve been working hard for my unborn child and to make sure we have a stable future and nice comfortable home. I don’t think I have the option to disappear. He would find me and serve me papers. From what I hear is that the court really only cares about the best interest of the child and that is considered to be coparenting. I just feel completely helpless as to what I can do to keep him away from us.

Answer 19

Take him at his word that he's going to take you to court and hire an attorney of your own to ask for advice? I mean it's not like he just gets to say, "I want custody and don't want to pay child support" and you have to just shrug and say, "I guess that's what will happen."



If finances are an issue looking up "legal aid" in your area is a good starting place.