Question:
Why do people insist on telling you their pregnancy horror stories when you are pregnant?
XXX
2008-05-01 12:41:18 UTC
I was at my son's baseball game, and of course I know pregnant tummies attract attention, but this lady asked me all the normal questions, how far along I am, what I'm having and so on. But then she tells me about her friends daughter who died giving birth because her amniotic fluid go into her blood stream, and according to this woman your amniotic fluid is toxic to you if it gets into your blood stream. Has anyone else had issues with people telling you their horror stories?
21 answers:
Mrs. Z plus 3
2008-05-01 12:44:04 UTC
People really are idiots! LOL! I don't know why they do it but I have often wondered the same thing.
Pat G
2008-05-01 13:34:17 UTC
I think it's a form of oneupmanship. Nobody ever did that to me. If someone does that to you, just tell them you don't want to discuss it. If they persist, walk away.



The only time I think amniotic fluid would tend to be a problem like that, would be during an abortion. You don't REALLY know what caused the death of her friend's daughter; it's all hearsay.



I have had five children. I know for a fact that pain is not inevitable. Get good training in labor beforehand. If you go to a Lamaze class, they'll tell you to expect pain. I don't agree with that approach. Expect PRESSURE. Of my five, I had three pain-free (and the doctor in my first birth gave me anesthesia against my will, too fast for me to object). I had mild pain with one and moderate pain with another (because I had a health problem). Pain usually only occurs during the last hour or two if you are properly trained to relax, and it's intermittent so you can catch your breath in between. But I had three of my babies at home. That's the way to go, in my opinion!



One other thing: most women reach a point in labor when they think they can't do it anymore. This is a sign they are about to go into second stage, and the birth is imminent. It should be a sign of rejoicing that you will soon have your baby in your arms.



Ask your doctor about it beforehand, but get plenty of exercise. Walking and swimming are both good. These will strengthen your heart. Pain is caused by lack of oxygen to the uterus, usually, and if you have a strong heart, it will pump against the pressure and get plenty of blood into the area. Also, if your doctor/midwife will allow you to sip electrolyte water, that can probably help. I use EmergenC or the other electrolyte product from Alacer to put the electrolytes into water. Labor is an athletic exercise. You should prepare for any athletic event. People can have pain from running a marathon without adequate preparation, too. And don't let the staff mess with you during labor. Don't lie flat on your back. Hospitals like to make birth into a medical event. This is SUCH a distortion of reality. Birth can be one of the most profoundly exciting and joyful occasions in life. Talk to yourself and prepare yourself for this. Whatever you think will affect your outlook. Read homebirth stories online.



A lot depends on who you associate with. I associated with midwifery students and ladies who were planning homebirths or who had given birth at home.



I don't think anybody has a right to touch your body without your permission. Think ahead of time for some good comebacks. Be prepared.
kat
2008-05-01 12:56:22 UTC
Sometimes people are just idiots. Don't listen to them. I was amazed when I was pregnant. I felt great (for the most part) both times and my deliveries were actually pretty easy and I didn't even have an epidural. I had heard so many horror stories, but most of them turned out to not be true. If they start up with their horror stories just ask them to wait until after you've had your baby and then they can tell the story and you can compare.
SARAH S
2008-05-01 12:52:18 UTC
People who have had children always have a horror story about themselves or someone else. Some people just get foot in mouth syndrome and forget how worrying and nervous women are when pregnant. Just think for all the horror stories there are thousands of happy stories. With living things human or animals there will always be happy and horrid stories, its a cruel world sometimes.



Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Laura S
2008-05-01 12:45:21 UTC
People are idiots. Plain and simple. Yeah, for some reason, us mommies like to share our stories. I think its horrible for that woman to try to scare you like that though. I really don't see how amniotic fluid could have been toxic to her. I mean come on! Thats what the baby LIVES in. If it was toxic, it would kill the baby. Take people who do this with a grain of salt.
2008-05-01 12:46:24 UTC
I had this constantly when I was pregnant with my daughter. I have no idea why people do this, and when I meet a pregnant lady now I make sure I tell her only positive things.



I was told so many horror stories about labour that I was really scared, but when it came down to it - yes, it hurt, but it was AMAZING!!!!! You forget the pain but the experience is something that I remember and smile about every day.



Ignore the miserable pessimists and enjoy the wonder of being pregnant! xxx
texicangirl
2008-05-01 13:02:52 UTC
I never heard a story that bad until right after I gave birth. Yeah allot of women told me about their labor experience and then when some found out my doc wanted to induce, they were like "NO don't let them, it HURTS ALLOT!!" Well I ended up being induced anyway but opted for the epidural so the pain was only temporary........temporarily PAINFUL!!



But there is this sweet waitress at this place we eat allot at and she would tell us the story of her poor aunt who had the horrible pregnancy.. But after we had the baby and told her he was born on Valentines' Day she said "oh let me tell you, this other couple that comes here allot had their baby on Valentine's Day too.......but he died." Holy sh*t, don't tell me that!! Apparently the baby was taken to the hospital ER a couple of weeks after birth with digestive problems and didn't make it for some reason. You have no idea how often I check my son to make sure he's pooping ok.



Sorry about that horror story don't let it get to you too bad . Concentrate on the good stuff and leave it all in God's hands. Congrats!!
2008-05-01 12:46:21 UTC
For some reason some women find it fun to tell horror stories, not really sure why, I had it happen to me when I was pregnant with both my kids. Try not to listen. All of these things may or may not have actually happened. I have never heard of anything like the above story you heard. Part of me thinks they just like to scare us...not sure why though.



I hated it when strange people would assume it was accepted to touch my belly! Ughhh people!



Congratulations and good luck! I wish you all the best, try not to listen to the people!
Cookie
2008-05-01 13:33:58 UTC
Yeah, people don't think about how it will make you feel. Especially if it's your first!



In my family my sister-in-law had 2 premies and so I am constantly hearing about how "oh my first baby was born at 32 weeks"..."do you think you'll have the baby early?"..."you could have the baby anytime"..."oh I bet it will come early, since its so big already" Ack!!



I am so scared of having a premie now, even though my doc says there is no reason to think I will. People should just shut up.
Kierstn and Haydens Mommy!
2008-05-01 12:45:42 UTC
I have!! I mean, do they have nice stories? All I hear about is horrible labor and stuff and ahh!! Freaking me out.



Actually, I got my hair cut a few weeks ago, and she was like...I told myself I was going to have a awesome birth story to tell! She has 3 children, her longest labor was 2 hours, her last daughter she had she had in the bathroom at the hospital. All no drugs...all natural. She had nice stories to tell. Thats the only person I've met that has nice stories! :) My mom...but thats just cause she won't tell me her stories til after I've had my baby!
~Salem~
2008-05-01 12:45:55 UTC
YES. I get this all of the time with birth stories too. It ticks me off to hear women scaring other pregnant women needlessly.



The best advice I can give you, is to NOT let anyone scare you with their pregnancy/birth stories. They feel like they are just being informative, but they are only being insensitive.
2008-05-01 12:44:33 UTC
Not at all, I haven't had that problem. Sometimes I get the stories of symptoms they had that were similar and what they did, but that's it. Usually it remains a positive atmosphere. Sorry to hear the horror stories come out in your case.
2008-05-01 12:52:35 UTC
Oh yes I had a neighbour that would tell me all kinds f bad pregnancy stories... as soon as she found out i was pregnant... she freaked me out. Thank god she is moved out.

The worst part was she would say '' i dont wanna freak you out or scare you but!' and then tell me the horrible storied of stillbirth and miscarriage and a friend who died giving birth .. i mean come on!!! thats all bad. :( But hey keep healthy and you will be fine :)



They think they are helping you with their ''knowledge'' ... obviously they are not.
Angela B
2008-05-01 13:04:23 UTC
Yes , people tell those stories not to help you, but to make them

feel better. I dont think anyone does it to upset you. Coming from some one who has a scaring stories, its just nice to talk sometimes. thats why i come to is web site..
Rosie aka Rosie
2008-05-01 12:47:31 UTC
I think maybe they want you to be prepared for the worst. They are very rude and it's downright annoying. Here's some help for you. I had the best labor ever. I was not in pain, I was making jokes and laughing!
*Gage-Diezl&Heidi's Mom*
2008-05-01 12:54:08 UTC
i dont know people are just retarded.. My friend was pregnant and so was i but it was my second and her first i told her positive things to not make her get scared then my mother inlaw told her she would rather die then have a baby which i dont think she should have.. i dont think people really mean to tell horror stories its just what pops into their headsd or bout how it was for them
luckylynndee
2008-05-01 12:46:44 UTC
Yes.. how annoying is it!!? It almost makes me wonder if they are jealous that everything is going great for you? Or they just want sympathy? I dont understand why they do it.. one of my biggest pet peeves is when women are like "ohh! you just wait" - its like, why would I wait til bad things happen? why would you want to tell me how HORRIBLE its going to be? Ya know? Anyway, I hear ya.. wish people would just let us be happy and excited without trying to rain on our parade! :)
courtney m
2008-05-01 12:51:46 UTC
you know some just feel like they have to tell a pregnacy story regardless. Its almost a traditon what haeve you.
logans mummy
2008-05-01 12:54:29 UTC
some people are just plain stupid take no notice of them and just enjoy your pregnancy good luck x
lindy
2008-05-01 12:47:46 UTC
They think that they are helping, that they are making you more prepared. They don't realize how much more you worry because of it.
nutterorsaintuchoose
2008-05-01 12:49:38 UTC
try to scare the crap out of you ?????


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